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Moving and childish hubby

Ok, long one. My husband lost his job a few months back, we can't pay all the bills and may have to move, my job doesn't cover it and there isn't anything available in his field, so he's having a very hard time finding a job. Obviously if we're falling behind, the house is one of the things to suffer being the most expensive, however, because of a stroke of good luck, there is a house that we have the option of "rent to own", it's bigger, in the same neighborhood (very important to us, great neighbors) and it's a LOT cheaper. But, he's upset because he thinks that everyone will think less of him because we may have to move, because I actually love our little house, and because the lawn is his "pet project", all wonderful things, but not as important as keeping our DD in a real home (ie: not an apartment with no yard to play in). So here's the question, how do I help him understand that moving doesn't make him less of a man?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Sep. 6, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Not meeting the big "Provider" role is pretty serious for the men. But, if there is ever a time in history when you and your family have ALOT of company, this is it. He shouldn't feel bad about losing his job - millions are losing theirs too. Our country is re-structuring itself. It's okay! Boost his ego when you can....I'm sure there are things he can do with this rent-to-own place to make himself proud. If people talk, whatEVER! Your real friends will stand by your side, whether you move to a rental down the street, a mansion, or under a bridge!

    Material objects do not make us who we are. The decisions we make DO. To that end, moving into a home you can afford is what makes sense. Glad you found a house quickly! (And aren't all men childish??? lol)

    Answer by Sarafina542 at 11:58 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Tell him his family comes first before his man pride

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:52 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Oh good grief. The other house is BIGGER, still in the neighbornhood you're in, CHEAPER, and he's still whining? Most people don't get that lucky when having to move to a cheaper place. Tell him to grow up!

    Answer by LostTheSlipper at 11:56 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • I'd try my best to make it seem like a blessing in disguise. I mean, same neighborhood, bigger, and cheaper? how often does that happen? in reality, it's probably a good thing in the long run, even though it sucks right now. crap situations happen, and it's not his fault. the entire country is suffering right now, so he's definitely not alone on the job front. shoot, dh joined the air force just to make sure he'd always have a paycheck. none of this makes him less of a man. in fact, a man makes sure his family is ok, whether or not it's what he wants to do exactly. so the manly thing would be to move and not worry about what people think. besides, your true friends wouldn't judge anyway.

    Answer by catharsis at 12:13 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Tell him to be glad you will continue to have a roof over your head. This does not have to be permanent.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 11:54 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • i agree with the others. be grateful u have a roof over ur head and food on the table ect... its only temporary and as long as ur together then everything will be ok.

    Answer by AIDEN032807 at 12:08 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • our guys go through alot, they dont even tell us half the story. all u can do is supportive and positive. if he sees that he can still provide for you maybe he will come around, the last thing you want to do is show him that you are stressing. you have to remember that these guys are still like kids, we have to nurture them and be there for them, appreciate all that he has done so far to support you and the famuily

    Answer by gemini415 at 12:44 AM on Sep. 7, 2010