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How do I learn to accept that people arent as thoughtful as I am....

Ok so long story short. A friend of mine has 3 children ages 2, 14 and 16. This summer two of her kids had birthdays and I spent $50 on each of them (I'm always fair and spend equal amounts). This past week one of my children (I have two) had a birthday and she didnt get her anything. Nor did she even come to the party or bring her kids. I'm really pissed off about it too. Am I wrong????

Answer Question

Asked by GoJoMom2448 at 11:58 PM on Sep. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (186 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • id be upset about my friend not showing up, now on the gift i dnt think it should matter how much it cost, its the thought and you never know how much one can afford.

    Answer by gabby06 at 12:03 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • No, you're not wrong. It would probably feel diferent if it were for your birthday, but when it's your child you tend to get more riled up. Also remember the gifts you gave were for her children not her. The only thing I would tell you is for next year you need to decide if giving them gifts again is something you want to do. If you do give them make sure they come from your heart and know that it won't be reciprocated.

    Answer by dmbutler at 12:04 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • omg no you are not wrong at at all!!! how good of a friend is she? and unfortunatly you are one of those women who care too much and want to make people happy. does it make you feel good to spend a lot of money on people? i love to buy presents for people. but maybe this "friend" isnt as thoughtful. it depends on the situation i dont know all the facts so i cant really make a judgment call. but i think it was rude of her to not even show up or at least send a card.

    Answer by AIDEN032807 at 12:04 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • She has three children, she might not be able to afford it. I probably wouldn't spend fifty dollars on a friends children. My brother inlaw will not come to our kids party if they can not afford a gift, they don't come because they would feel obligated to give a gift. I would be happy to have them there, it means more. Would you still be upset if she came and got a five dollar gift. I don't know the circumstances. I could be wrong and she could be a taker. It is not for me to judge

    Answer by zakityzak at 12:06 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • It's ok to be upset as it is rather rude. If you do nice things for people never expect anything in return. Maybe she is going through a hard time in her life? You never know what others circumstances really are. If you think its going to affect your relationship with her then bring it up, but I wouldn't mention the financial aspect.

    Answer by babywhatnow at 12:06 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I do not know your friend's story but I am kind of on her end of your story I guess you could say. I have an extremely thoughtful neighbor, I just love her. She really enjoys my kids (they are 1, 2 and 3). She is always bring them over little snacks, gifts for their birthdays, christmas, just because. They love going to her house to play, etc. Anyway, her twin daughters are turning 16 next week and I would love to at least get them a $10 gift card or something to somewhere but we just can't afford and I feel so so bad about it. I think I may have my boys make them cookies or something. Sorry, I am rambling. Anyway, maybe your friend just can't afford it. Maybe she didn't come to the party because she felt bad she couldn't bring a present.

    Answer by JamieLK at 12:10 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Yes, I do think you are wrong. Did you giver her gifts or obligations? What if she doesn't have the money? Even if she appears to, she may not. Or maybe something else is going on with her. Are you assuming? Does she KNOW your children's birthdays?

    Answer by Whatkids at 12:11 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • No it's not about the Money at all. I don't care if she only spends $5. It's the thought that counts. I was just stating that I'm fair and would never buy one kid something that costs $50 and the other something that costs $10. (Just giving insight as to how I do things). This friend is what I consider a GOOD friend, we are close and our kids are even CLOSER! I could care less about Me but when you treat my kids as if they dont matter then it's personal to me. I'm just stunned. She loves my Kids and treats them really well any other time. She even asked me not too long ago what to get her.....WTH???

    Comment by GoJoMom2448 (original poster) at 12:11 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • i think she should have AT LEAST come to the party or sent a card or something at all,..even if it was just a little home made gift if she's not able to afford something. it is definitely the thought that counts

    Answer by CrnchyMamaCraig at 12:21 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • FYI.....For the Record......She's not broke or anything!!!

    Comment by GoJoMom2448 (original poster) at 12:22 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

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