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2 Bumps

Lying.....

So my dd almost 7yrs old has started lying lately! I will not tolerate lying in my house, Im strongly against it and will not accept it! The thing is, she is lying about silly little things! She has been lying just to get her little brother (almost 4yrs old) into trouble. I cannot understand why she would lie and why she would be doing it to get him in trouble! I have told her millions of times that if she does something bad and tells me the truth about it, I wont get as mad as I would if she lies about it and I find out later! Ugh... how can I get her to stop lying? We recently won tickets to the circus and I told her that next time she lies I will take her privileges away and she wont attend the circus with us. I will find her a sitter and she will stay home! I really dont want her to lie, I want her to go soooo bad but I have to stand my ground! Any suggestions on how to stop the lies? Please help!

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sxc_mom_of2

Asked by sxc_mom_of2 at 3:37 AM on Sep. 7, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 10 (434 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I don't know... I have two toddlers and I have a hard time just saying no to them.....
    sherribeare

    Answer by sherribeare at 3:46 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Well, I agree 100%!!! I will not tolerate lies from my son when and if he begins to tell them either. But I find it hard to believe that you are truly 100% honest with your child. I sure hope you are though, I plan to be! I plan to be right down to the most minute issues, including being honest always about fictitious charachters like Santa and Easter Bunny and such. Good for you if that is how you plan to be or are, I wish all parents were that way. I don't know what I would do though if my son ever lied to me, I plan to treat him as I treat everyone(as I wish to be treated) and hope he follows my example. I will see what happens i suppose!
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 4:15 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Honestly, this may sound horrible and I may be called a bad mom but when my girls started lying on each other I started popping them in the mouth and they stopped real quick, I did put them on time out and on the wall at first but it wasn't doing anything, I only had to do it a couple of times maybe 3 or 4 and they don't do it anymore, it wasn't hard either, i did it so they realize how bad it is. and if it hurts them it must hurt the other person they lied on.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 4:16 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Is she getting enough one on one time with you and DH? Sometimes that's the answer when the problem is lying about a sibling. Plus make sure she is getting praise when she does things right and tons of hugs and kisses. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:27 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • i have caught my dd lying to me one time... a few other things went along with it also... she was put on punishment for a month... that meant no tv, vid games, toys, coloring, nothing but reading and cleaning her room.. she just turned 7 when this happened and since she has not lied to me again b/c she now understands that the truth is always better... and btw she was more upset about disappointing me than being on punishment...
    springsmom0322

    Answer by springsmom0322 at 9:38 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Sometimes it is just a strange phase that children go through. She is old enough to understand scenarios where lying can get her into really serious trouble, so tell her some stories about lies getting people into major hot water. Let her know that there could be a time where she might need you to stand up for her and tell her that if she is lying all the time you might not be able to protect her if you can't be sure she is being honest.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:14 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Instead of threatening a big consequence several times (and then either backing out or feeling like a horrible mom if you actually go through with it) come up with a more reasonable consequence and consistently apply it every time she lies.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:22 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Sit them both down and have a heart to heart talk about how disappointed you are, how much it hurts you when she lies, how much her brother is hurt, how it will hurt her in life. Let her know lying will not be tolerated in your house.
    Is she feeling like her brother gets more attention, or gets away with things that she doesn't? Try to hear her out, and respect her feelings.
    Give her lots of one on one attention, plan special times with just her if you are able, even if it's just a few minutes after her brother goes to bed. Give her time so she can let you know what's going on with her.
    RedRowan

    Answer by RedRowan at 9:44 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

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