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Why do my child hate me

What do you do when your child constantly is telling you he hates you and don't care about you? No matter how many chances I give him to get his act together he is constantly pushing me away. I am at my wits end with him.........................

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Oct. 13, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • It's just a play for attention. I used to do it to my mom ALLLL THE TIME when I was younger. Don't let it get to you, they really don't hate you. Every teen goes through a stage like that.
    caitxrawks

    Answer by caitxrawks at 10:10 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • Just keep telling him you love him and when he wants to talk you'll be ready to listen.
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 10:10 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • YA KNOW I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME THNG WITH MY THIRTEEN YEAR OLD AND I FEEL THE SAME WAY I HAVE TO KEEP MY COOL OR I WILL HAVE HOLES ALL THROUGH MY WALLS I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO HE KEEPS TELLIN ME I DON'T LIKE HIM AND TO SEND HIM AWAY ITS TERRIBLE EVERY TIME I SAY SOMETHING HE ARGUES WITH ME AND TELLS ME I'M WRONG AND IF I DISCIPLINE HIM I HATE HIM IF YOU GET A SOLUTION LET ME KNOW
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 10:13 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • They don't hate you, but they probably do hate your approach. Change tactics and learn to communicate the way they need you to if you want to reach them. Remember that although you are the authority figure, respect goes both ways. You've got to give it to receive it. Also, if all you're ever doing is telling them to straighten up and get their act together, and you're NEVER telling them that they're good and what you're proud of, you can't really blame them for being mad at you. This is not the same "person" that you used to discipline-it's a whole new deal now so you've got to adapt.
    laadeedah

    Answer by laadeedah at 10:14 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • Nothing works better than ignoring him. Don't make dinner for him, don't talk to him, don't wash his clothes... try that for a while... he'll wake up.
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 10:16 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • I don't believe it is my approach because I do more than just tell him he has to straighten up. More often then not he don't even get in trouble. I have been calm trying to talk to him to no avail. My whole family has tried and not a thing is working. He told me and my husband that he is going to do what ever he wants and there should be no consequences to him. Then when we try to reprimand him that is when he goes ballistic trying to kill himself or trying to hurt me........I don't know what to do

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • First I would start by letting him know that it is okay to be mad at you. You want him to learn the difference between hating you and just being mad about something you do.

    I would also back off about it. It sounds like he knows that you are getting angry and that he is hurting you so he keeps doing it. If you leave him alone and make it seem like it is no big deal then he may stop doing it.

    He is trying to control the house and what he wants so you need to stop that. Tell him that you do these things because you love him and you are the ones that need to make sure he is safe and okay.

    If nothing else works then I would try and get him into some type of therapy. I know that with my middle child we had to do this and it worked great. He went for about 6 months and she taught him how to deal with the feelings and thoughts he was having.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:50 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I do think this is a stage many go through they feel frustrated because they want more freedom but yet they are not old enough for more freedom and THINK we are treating them like babies and yet they don't understand they are not ADULTS. My daughter kept it up too and one day I just looked at her and said, ya know what... if you hate me so much if that is all you can say to me then hell with you... dont talk to me dont come around me why dont you just leave me alone... Yes I told daddy she is all yours now and I put the silent treatment on her for two days she couldnt take it anymore. We talked and I firmly reminded her I might be her mother but I have feelings too and enough is enough if you cant be nice then dont bother trying to ask me for a thing. Every time she said I hate you, was another weekend she lost and required to apologize before she could have any rights.
    Mooska

    Answer by Mooska at 7:42 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

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