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What should I do when my real babies father doesn't want to be a part of my babys life but my new boyfriend does?????

OK! My real babies father doesn't want anything to do with me or my unborn baby girl, But the man I'm seeing now wants to be her father. He asked me if he could be on the baby's birth certificate?
His name is Deonta. We have been together since november-17-07.
I was two months pregnant when I met Deonta. He still wanted to be with me. Since we've been together we have been talking about marrage and having one or two more kids together. Deonta wants to be on my babie's birth certificate as the father. I want him to be on it too! But my mom says it's wrong cause he's not her real father. My mom wants me to leave it blank with NO father.....
What do you think I should do??????

Answer Question

Asked by Ms.Hosler at 8:47 PM on Jun. 30, 2008 in Pregnancy

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • seeing that you are only 19... and only been with this guys for 7 months, makes the decision hard. you could wait a little longer and make the decision you think is best....if he wont wait that long, then you know it wasnt meant to be, but if he will then wait and see... he can still be your daughters father and not be on the birth certificate. Its going to be a decision you need to make on your OWN its a big decision, dont let anyone elses thoughts influence YOUR decision. :) best of luck sweetie!

    Answer by KelsoBabeyy at 8:54 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • I would have to agree with the previous advice and you can alwaysn wait until you are married o make this decision, but most important isn't the name it is who takes care of you two and who she calls daddy. In a couple of years would probably be the best idea because it's never gonna be a missed oppurtunity but could be a mistake if not careful.

    Answer by wondermommy5 at 9:00 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • um so ok dont get your child mixed up in your love life - give your baby your maiden name so you dont have custody battles with ex boyfriends or their families - if your boyfriend wants to be her father so bad he should get up the guts to marry you and when all goes well with the marrage then a couple years down the road he can legally adopt her. as for baby daddy screw him he is a jerk and if he doesnt care now he wont ever -
    sorry thats probably a little heated but my cousin (like my bestfriend ever) has lost her son every weekend to her ex boyfriends mother (who isnt even blood related) because she has the right as his grandmother (as stated on the birth certificate) - that document is legal and binding you cant ever get away from or change it!! sorry!

    Answer by vakatia at 11:14 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • OMG i went through the same problem except my baby's daughter went to meet her at the hospital a day after she was born and signed the proof of paternity papers and I thought at that moment that,that also meant I had to put him on the B-certificate and give her his last name. I regret doing that. I wish she had my last name now. Anyways I actually got with my new boyfriend when my daughter was 2 months old, he loves her and from what I can see she loves him back. Her real dad is not involved or care to ask about her. About your situation I would say wait a while or give your baby your last name, for sure you know u will always be the mom. If you and this new guy do not work out later on you might regret it. But it is totally up to you. I know when you're in love it might be hard to think that the person you are with, might not always be there. Just make the right decision for you and your baby. Good luck.

    Answer by iri24 at 11:15 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • What I would do is let him be on the birth certificate but let your daughter know when she old enough and able to understand that she has a dad that made her but a father that raised her. I would do what you feel would be the best for your daughter and what would make her, you and deonta happy. There is a saying I live by "Any man can be a dad, but it takes a real man to be a father" and the way it sounds to me deonta is the man to be the father.

    Answer by jaevenmomma at 11:25 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • i would say no because u never know wht the future can bring what if yall break up and he leaves u kno...idk just really think about it

    Answer by LuLu614 at 3:04 AM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • I agree with many of the PP. Give her/him your last name. Leave the father portion blank and he can chose to legally adopt her after you two are married. As for some reasons: I know you two are in LOVE and plan to marry and everything is great now and you can't see any reason it wouldn't work out, BUT in the event that something did happen and you guys split up, he'd have claim to your baby and could LEGALLY take it from you if the judge saw fit, because they baby bares his last name and he is legally the father since it says so on the birth certificate. You've got to protect your own and not let him/her be wrapped up in your love life. If things go well he can still be daddy, and if you do marry and biological donor really doesn't want anything to do with you guys he can sign away his rights and leave your LO open to be adopted by your hubby.

    Answer by misty1_sd at 1:30 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

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