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What would you do..if you couldn't stand your brother's soon to be wife?

I know what some of you would do,because you aren't me.I have a tough decision to make and time is running out.My brother is getting married and his soon to be wife is having a bridal shower.I can't stand her.Her personality is the exact opposite of mine and if I go,I will go crazy!Can I miss this thing or will that be detrimental to our relationship?Can I send her a happy bridal card instead?She does alot of nice things for my daughter and I kinda feel obligated?

 
countingsparows

Asked by countingsparows at 11:57 PM on Oct. 13, 2008 in Relationships

Level 8 (224 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • It's obvious that you two have different views & that is ok. Are you really close to your brother? If you are, I would at least try to find ways to get along with her when I was around & then try to stay away when I could. It's nice to hear that she does kind things for your daughter & I really do understand what it's like to have a sister-in-law like this. I usually keep my distance but when I find myself obligated to do something, I try to grin & bare. I'm not sure what kind of things that she does to get under your skin so I can't be more detailed but if she has a way with her words or makes comments that you don't appreciate then I would definitely take her aside & talk to her & maybe sort them out that way. Good Luck! I hope you can have a change of heart since she is going to be part of your family. All the best!
    onespecialmom

    Answer by onespecialmom at 12:11 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • Suck it up and go to the bridal shower. You two don't have to be friends, but you are going to soon be in-laws so you should try to make the best of it. I think that would be in very poor taste not to go. Especially if she does nice things for your kid!
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 12:07 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • you should go and try to overlook the things you don't like about her out of love and respect for your brother.
    myboogiewoogie

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 12:33 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I can't stand my sister in law. And she doesn't care for me either. But, we both love my brother and I love my nieces and she loves my kids, so we tolerate each other. Go to the shower. Be civil and polite. You don't have to be best friends with her, but trust me..... the whole family will be happier if you two can at least be civil when in the same room. I speak from almost 10 years of experience honey. It's not always easy, but it really is worth it in the end. And who knows, over time the two of you might actually find some middle ground somewhere. You never know until you give it a chance.
    bkbecca

    Answer by bkbecca at 1:12 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • Go to the party and suck it up. If you want a happy family . He is not asking you to love her he is asking you to accept her. She IS going to be a part of the family , like it or not.
    imtheonlysane1

    Answer by imtheonlysane1 at 2:10 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I don't really get along with my brother.He mostly started this thing with seeing my daughter and doing nice things for her,because he's a uncle and he's trying to show his love for her.In our family we had a uncle who showered us with gifts and so he's trying to be like him.Then she came along and she's doing the same thing but mostly I think was to fit into the family and she does it well.She's very tallented,makes birthday cakes and is thoughtful,but all her care for my daughter makes me feel a little weirded out too.Now,I see she will soon be a aunt to her and she's trying to find her place with my daughter and in all our families as well.I guess what bothers me about her,is she's like a younger version;martha stewart,she's perfect!
    countingsparows

    Answer by countingsparows at 2:16 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • My family is odd.My parents favor my brother and they are possesive about who should go to his wedding or if I should go to the shower.I asked my mom already if I should go and she said no! It's my parents thing and they don't want me to be apart of it.My mom feels the way I do about her,she doesn't like her that much either.She's very tallented and like a cheerleader.She makes and decorates cakes and always is all smiles and laughter.She has a few flaws though,her legs are ugly my mom says.I know my mom is a real winner! lol..It's awkward the shower is for my daughter and me who are invited.They do so much for my daughter it actually feels like they own her,so I'm weirded out about this.I would feel better going there without my daughter.
    countingsparows

    Answer by countingsparows at 2:30 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • shut your mouth and deal with it. That's what I did with both my brothers' crzay ass wife, and now both brothers are devorced. BUT had I said somethign to them about the women they loved at that time I would have lost my brothers.
    nattyrf511

    Answer by nattyrf511 at 3:12 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • So don't take your daughter. you just say her dad had already planned something special for just the two of them and you couldn't say no because after all it's her dad and she needs to love and respect her dad.

    by the way it sounds like you may be a little jelous of what they do for your daughter so just set up bounderies.
    nattyrf511

    Answer by nattyrf511 at 3:17 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • Thank God they do for her,cuz we can't.I'm very blessed and so is she.It's more complicated than for me just to show up there.I'm not accepted in my family,so for me to go there,I'm breaking house rules.Right now my parents are paying our rent so I don't want to ruff their feathers.I would like to go,it sounds like fun but at the same time,I'm not even really accepted by my brother and his girlfriend,my brother is like my mom and they play these insecure mind games with me.These games are; my parents can't express themselves or talk to me like a adult ,so in situations like this,they tell me not to go.That's another thing I'm confused about,why my mom doesn't want me to go.I get weirded out easily,especially if my family is involved.I would like to do the right thing and show up,I just don't know how socially appropriate I would be ,since I'm shy meeting strangers.
    countingsparows

    Answer by countingsparows at 3:28 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

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