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11 Bumps

How do I help my 6 year old lil girl deal with her daddy's death?

My husband passed away on March 17th of a massive heart attack, he has left behind myself and our beautiful lil 6 year old daughter. We are both devestated and miss him so much. I just don't know if I am doing the right things to help her heal... We talk a lot about him and I ask her questions about him. She was a HUGE daddy's girl...

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Bellamomma2

Asked by Bellamomma2 at 1:39 PM on Sep. 7, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 4 (41 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • *hugs* I am SO sorry Mommy... Ugh.. I can't imagine what you must be going through.. I think talking openly and grieving together would be the way I would do it too!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:42 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Oh my, I am so sorry for your loss. I recently lost my mother and could not even imagine what it would feel like to lose my husband. I have not (and hope to never) gone through through this, but here is a bump and please accept my condolences.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 1:42 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • :( ((((((((HUGS))))))) just keep doing what you're doing and be there for her. Help her remember the good times and know that she was loved, it'll take a long time but i'm sure you'll both be ok, prayers and hugs again momma :(
    DreainCO

    Answer by DreainCO at 1:42 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have any answers for you, but I'm sure you could probably find support groups in your area that will help you and your daughter cope with your loss. Again, I am so sorry.
    arouthier

    Answer by arouthier at 1:43 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I'm so sorry for your loss but there is no easy way to get over death my son passed away and yet I tell my 16 month about his older brother once in awhile. If she talks about it then that is okay but don't rush the subject don't push it. Let her heal she won't forget him but talking a lot might be hurting her why not ask her if it bothers her she may surprise you. and again sorry for you loss.
    butterfly3206

    Answer by butterfly3206 at 1:43 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • First off, I am so sorry! I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling!
    1) Get YOURSELF in counseling. She needs you more than ever, and she needs you well. But it's okay to show her you are sad and hurting too!
    2) Get her into counseling so someone can help her sort out her feelings
    3) Pray to whomever you believe in for strength
    4) Take care of yourself, eat healthy, get enough sleep, and stay in well lit areas, darkness can trigger depression.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:44 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Sorry to hear-RIP to her daddy.

    I would say talk but not too much you want her to remember him not long for him. This is my opinion and I am not a therapist, but I think you should both go to support groups to help both of you deal with it. It is going to take a while, but you guys will manage..

    Don't ever forget him but you must move forward he would want you both too. I would not rush a relationship at all but I mean be strong and move on...

    Good luck!!!!
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 1:44 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I am so sorry you and your daughter are having to go through this. I'm not sure what will help you through it. Maybe you could ry grief consuleing. I don't know much about it so I don't know if it would help or not
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 1:45 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I'm so sorry mama!!! My dd's only seen her daddy a year of her 3 years due to deployments but I couldn't imagine poising him!!! I would take openly about how much you miss him, how proud he would be of her, and these feeing are norml and ok!!! She won't ever get over it, my dads dad passed away when my dad was 7 and now at 51 he still grieves. Give her pictures of him and something that was special to your husband, maybe that will help her feel the love he gave her.... I'm so sorry mommy!!!!
    07lilmama1108

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 1:49 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Oohhh my gosh, you all are so amazing... I wan't expecting all this. Thank you, I am new at Cafe and wasn't sure how this was going to work. My daughter does good during the day because of school and her activities she is busy, but at night when it's time for bed or for us to eat dinner is when she usually crashes and realizes she hasn't seen him all day. It's getting better and her break downs are not as frequent, but when she does have them we both just cry, then we start to talk about the funny things he would do... he was a very silly guy.

    I still think I'm in shock and sometimes wait for his call or his txt to tell me about his day. He worked nights so I would get random texts or calls in the middle of the early morning (4am) when he was on his break, I still wait for those....

    I am looking into therapy for the both of us, someone told me that they do counseling at her school so I am checking into it now.

    Thank you.
    Bellamomma2

    Comment by Bellamomma2 (original poster) at 1:55 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

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