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I am 21 and my boyfriend is in jail. At 20 weeks preg he now wants an abortion and is adament about me having one. I also found out I have a short cervix(29mm)so I am now a high risk for a preterm baby.Help!

Before he was so supportive and we were going to work through it even though he is in jail but now he says we have no money no job and he is scaring and pressuring me to abort my son. I have never been pregnant before and have always been careful. I am soo stressed and I find myself just crying all the time. Please help me, I am nervous and I want to keep my baby and have it healthy. What to do ladies?!?!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Oct. 14, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (18)
  • first off, do not kill your son just because his daddy wants you to. he wont be in his life anyway. he isnt worth it... talk to your doctor about crying all the time, you could be depressed.ditch the dead beat man and keep you little man
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 12:26 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • why don't you abort the jailbird? He wants you to kill your child! Hell, he wants you to kill HIS child, what kinda father is that? Get rid of his sorry ass!
    myboogiewoogie

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 12:26 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • YES I AGREE, DONT KILL THE BABY CUZ OF A JAILBIRD! I WOULD TELL YOU HOW FORMED THE BABY ALREADY IS BUT I DONT WANT TO LAY A GUILT TRIP OR ANYTHING....

    WHEN I HAD MY SON I WAS BROKE AND ALONE BUT I MADE IT HAPPEN....

    DO U BELIEVE IN GOD? PRAY PRAY PRAY..... AND SEEK HELP.... NOT SURE WHAT STATE YOUR IN BUT HERE IN MARYLAND THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF PLACES FOR PREGNANT WOMEN AND THEM WITH KIDS WHO ARE IN BAD SITUATIONS AND WANT TO GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING WITH THEIR LIVES.... IT MAY NOT BE A VACATION SPOT BUT IT WILL BE A HOME FOR YOU AND UR CHILD AND REMEMBER ITS ONLY TEMPORARY
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 12:35 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • Well, at 20 weeks it is pretty much too late for an abortion. Without a health reason, you are now entering the range of banned late-term abortions. So thumb your nose at the jerk and tell him he changed his mind too late.
    Then dump him. Consider carefully if you want this man to have anything to do with your child in the future. If not, give him the option to sign away his rights. You won't be able to get child support but you won't have to deal with him either. And franklly, I doubt a deadbeat like this would pay child support. So you'd have to hand your child over for visitations and still have no extra money.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:37 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • Next, talk to your doctor. Be aware that post-partum depression can start BEFORE the baby is born.
    Last, find a local moms group for support. You can search here for moms by zip code but many of us haven't entered a zip code. Try meetup.com or yahoo's group section. I found a mom's group that way. Another option is the big, national groups - M.O.P.S. and Moms Club.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:37 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • Having a child is the single best thing that can happen to you. Consider your child a gift from GOD, get rid of the man and pray for his safety. I am with the other moms, he will have no earthly use to you. Stay away from him. No matter how bad things get this is the land of opportunity and you will survive. Never take any thing out on your child, give a lot of love and it will come back to you in numerous ways. Chin up girl!!!!
    Greenlifestyles

    Answer by Greenlifestyles at 12:45 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • i agree with the person below me
    mommy060809

    Answer by mommy060809 at 12:46 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I had my son at 29weeks he was early but a beautiful baby boy at 2lbs 8oz. We are now home and he is 4 months old and 11lbs happy smiling perfectly normal baby. Even if your baby comes early trust me you will love him the moment you see him and he will love you MORE than anyone in the world. You can't take back choosing not to have him won't you always wonder who he was if you never give him a chance. Look at my profile pictures of my tiny son and now he is so big and wonderful.
    Jenbickett

    Answer by Jenbickett at 12:47 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • don't abort your son just because of some guy who is in jail, will they even give abortions at how far along you are, i had an ultrasound at 30 weeks and they found that my cervix too was short they sent me to the hospital to receive two steroid shots in a 24 hour period to help with her lungs if she came early i was put on bedrest and i had to be induced at 39 weeks so there is hope for carrying a full term baby! I hope you make the best decision for yourself no one else and take care
    teen_mom_89

    Answer by teen_mom_89 at 1:31 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • Who the hell listens to a guy who's in jail?
    crazypianochick

    Answer by crazypianochick at 1:33 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

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