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How can i tell if he's just in a slump or just doesnt have his heart in this relationship anymore??

my boyfriend and i have been together going on 4 years and for the most part we get along pretty welll. we have had quite a rough year and he says that he still wants to work it out and so do i, only he isnt acting like it yet. im a SAHM and one of his main concerns is having to pay the bills by himself, he wants me to either find a fulltime job (i only wk pt) or find a place much cheaper to live. i have been putting in apps everywhere and am on quite a few waiting lists, and i am currently giving him almost all of my check to help cover bills and am trying to work more hrs. but i dont see him making the changes that i am looking for, he says its because he is still in the stressful situation and will have to solve the $ issues before he can feel "happy" or like his needs are met to meet mine. hes home, but not playful/emotional/affectionate like he was before and i dont know how to take it. each day is a diff. mood swing??WTD

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Sep. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (2)
  • ALL his needs need to be met before he can meet yours? No. That's not how this works. You both work hard and try to meet each other's needs, that's what a relationship is. You don't get to slack off for months and not give a shit about the other person just because you're stressed. Especially something as simple as showing affection. A hug or a kiss or snuggling on the couch is NOT going to stress you out about money any more.

    Other than that little discussion that you need to have with him, it sounds like it's just a tough spot for you guys. Talk talk talk and keep trying to find solutions that work for both of you. That's all you can do, sweetie, but it will work out. It always does :)

    Answer by Ati_13 at 4:32 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Tell him to read the stupid paper, MILLIONS of people are looking for work. It's not like you are not getting a job on purpose. Tell him there is still a recession, despite what some people say.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:06 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

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