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Can someone please help? Will be long hope you can follow.... adult content

my dh thinks I am spending to much time on CM and I am becoming a bitch or whatever or since I went back to work 1 of the 2 or both. Do you think being on CM makes you become more of a bitch? He wants to shut the internet off even. I feel like this is all I have is the internet friends I have no outside friends. He reads his magaizines, he plays on the computer, ebay, games he's not into porn and he does his man things like demos & such & he smokes. I seem to only have my dd my work & the internet.
Is he trying to be controlling or what do you think? I think it's long and complicated and we haven't had sex in a long time. I think he's a great provider, hes also a great lover but I just don't want to have sex either lots of things going on there also he's not cheated to my knowledge.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Sep. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I understand how you feel... between work pulling you one way, kids, husband, house, your sad for no reason and all you want is to talk to a friend who will listen and give advice (cafemom). It is hard and they do not always understand that we need that time of escape... My first suggestion is to try logging on to cafe mom when he is doing "his" thing and my second advice is to maybe find someone to talk to I am worried that if you are anything like me it is easy to slip into depression. I am always here if you need to just chat!

    Answer by kamore at 5:31 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I think that he is jealous that you have other activities to entertain you and that leaves you out of the running to be at his beck and call.

    Tell him to grow up. He has his hobbies, you have yours but you should BOTH find time for each other. It may be that he feels this way since there is a direct line from a man's penis to his heart. If he isn't getting lovin, he may not feel that he is loved.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:25 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Tell him marriage is about compromise. I would think your attitude would be more based on his time and attention to his games and other stuff rather than blame it on your use of the Internet. I'd tell him I'd give up some online time for him if he gives some up for me. Turning the Internet off would be just silly imho

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:26 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Well if you are on it 24 hrs a day and wont talk to him only check CM then maybe you have a problem. lol if your not doing that tell him to give it a rest and stop being jealous that he cant be a mom tell him to join the page haha

    Answer by lolo0636 at 5:29 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I think you need to be honest about with yourself about how much time you are in CM. Are you on the internet to avoid dealing w/ other problems or so you don't have to talk to your husband. Even if you are not, that maybe how he sees it. He may also have to look at how much time he spends on his own activities. Possibly since you have gone back to work, he is feeling neglected since you are not home like you used to be and is just blaming CM. Maybe you both need to set aside more time to be w/ each other. Not for sex, because that will happen once you get these other problems handled. It is usually behavior outside the bedroom that determines how much time you spend in the bedroom.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 5:35 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Have you sat him down and talked to him about it?Are you being a bitch sometimes?I'm not a proffesional on this stuff but it sounds to me like you have found something that you like and it's taken some attention away from him.Which is called being controlled.So what If he has the internet turned off ,you have it turned back on.Don't give in to his demands.A relationship is a partnership.Not a dictatorship.

    Answer by bvannkissy at 6:18 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I went thru this with my husband a few years back. I was on the computer way to much, but at the time, I didn't think I was.. So maybe you two need a break from technology a little. Try staying off the comp on Friday night, and you two go out on a date.. Talk and try and figure out why you two fighting and arguing/ Or not talking to each other. As it may be.. There are ways to compromise in a relationships..But it has to be both of you, not one..

    Answer by MzGeorgiaPeach at 6:49 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Look at how much time you spend on CM compared to time with him. If you two love to be online consider buying another computer or laptop so you two can sit side by side and talk as you play lol. Life is all about finding a compromise both can be a little happy with. You should not have to give up your CM all together but look to see if there is any truth to what he is saying.


    Answer by SylviaNCali at 7:11 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Does he not really rely on the internet? There is a lot going on in your question, and yall do need time to connect, but I don't think taking away your pasttime will help that, probably only make you bitter or lonely.

    Answer by txdaniella at 8:31 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I think its very possible for CM to affect you in real life, so no I doubt he's being controlling. I know when I was in a bunch of debate groups, I was always in more of a combative mood. My husband pointed this out to me and I stopped CM for a while....and viola! I was less combative pretty quickly. If you don't have friends outside the Internet, then make some. Look for play groups in your area, go to the park, library story times, mall...there's all kinds of places to meet new friends.


    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 9:20 PM on Sep. 7, 2010