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3 Bumps

I just caught my 12 year old son looking at porn from the history. Please read the entire explanation before giving advice, thanks!

Our computer has parental control. While the family was at a young child's birthday party we had our oldest son stay home to greet my friends in from out of town. That is when he looked at porn. After confronting my son I found out his friend taught him how to look it up even with a parental control on it. His 12 yr old friend owns his own lap top and his parents do not monitor what he is looking up.
I have already dealt with the issue with my son, now my advice is what do I do about the friend? My son usually goes over for sleep overs on a regular basis meaning there is a lot unsupervision going on. Do I confront the parents? They are going through a tough divorce and my son's friend lives at two different places, so my son is at two different places without being supervised. (The parents are home, the kids are not monitored) This is a friend of my son's for years.

 
AmyLynn5398

Asked by AmyLynn5398 at 6:17 PM on Sep. 7, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 17 (3,564 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • I would let the parents know, not in a confrrobtational way but so that they too can be aware of what their son is doing, then if you see that they dont react then maybe you should consider if you should let your son hang aroung w/him
    gabby06

    Answer by gabby06 at 6:20 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • if he is teaching him how to look it up by looking through the history of what the parents have been looking at then..maybe the parents have some correcting to do on their end. follow the leader
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 6:22 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I would def bring this up to the parents attention and also, does your son have to go over often? I think I'd limit his time with the friend as well until thing settle a bit, the friend might be going through this phase because his parents are divorcing but it can turn into an addiction and you don't want that for your son, I'd talk to your son about it too. Yes there growing up but they need to understand what there watching, good luck.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 6:26 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • don't let him sleep over with that friend anymore... if they are going to be unsupervised then its not safe.
    if you feel like you can't provide adequate supervision at your own house to watch that boy then don't let him sleep over at your place either. I don't think its healthy for a boy that young to get that warped view of sexuality so you're doing the right thing to protect him and talk to him.
    elizabiza

    Answer by elizabiza at 6:54 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I would confront the parents, let them know whats going on, how you feel about it...be honest with them, don't be judgmental or bitchy, make it just a conversation
    BradensMom1026

    Answer by BradensMom1026 at 6:24 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I would definatly talk to the parents, since they don't monitor him they probably don't know that this is happening, they might keep a closer eye on him if they knew. If it were my son I would not let him go over there unless I knew that he would be watched more closely. You could just have the friend come to your house until things straighten up over there.
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 6:24 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Just to give a little more explanation...I was looking at the history and saw that my son looked at porn. In this house we do not look at porn. So I am confused about what you mean with my son looking at our history. My son's friend showed him he can go other avenues to view porn. That is how I caught him was viewing what he looked at. Also it was dated when it was viewed and we were not home. He was the only one viewing it.
    AmyLynn5398

    Comment by AmyLynn5398 (original poster) at 6:26 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I agree with the other moms, if this other boy has been a friend of your son's for a while then the family should be open to your conversations with them. If they are not monitoring something as simple as setting controls on the laptop, there may be other things that they are over looking as well and unfortunately when your son goes over to spend the night, you trust that he is being looked after not simply left to do what they want just because the adults are involved in their own thing. If they seem a little defensive about the conversation I would simply just not allow my child to visit their home; I would invite the friend to come over but my son would not be going to their house. Good luck momma.
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 6:29 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Agree w/everybody else. HOWEVER, It's something every tween/teen does. Facts of life. :) (I don't mean to disrespect, so sorry if I did. :()

    Chell.o_0

    Answer by Chell.o_0 at 6:34 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Sorry, just because 12 year olds are curious about sex(and I have one going through this too) does not mean it is okay for them to sit there and watch porn. First off, porn is not real sex. It can be damaging to future relationships and their ideas and expectaitons of sex. They don't[ process these things like we do. Sorry had to get that off my chest!

    Now...that being said, I have told my son that I understand he is curious, but those sites are innapropriate and if he chooses to look for them I will not allow him on my computer. I personally would let the parents know. BUT I would not allow my child to be at his house where he is unsupervised and chances are watching porn. If they want to hang out monitor it. There comes a time when we have to look out for our own children first.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 6:51 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

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