Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

What's going on with him???

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. During these years, he keeps switching between 2 different "phases". For a while, he's all about me. He tells me he loves me, holds my hand, puts his arms around me, wants to spend all his time with me. Then, he'll go through a phase where he wants to hang out with his friends all the time, go to the club without me all the time, and stuff like that. Now, I'm almost 6 months pregnant with our child. I love him more than anything and I know that he loves me. But, I just don't understand why he treats me so good for while, then does a 180 and treats me like crap...Just looking for some advice

Answer Question
 
waiting4jaydin

Asked by waiting4jaydin at 8:54 PM on Sep. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (34 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Well why don't you speak to him about what the patten you see and ask him what is up?! He may love you and all, i am sure he does love you very much but having a child is a BIG JOB and he needs to be there to help you out. Remind him that it was all about you,you, you,you when this child was made so he needs to have a wake up call and be reminded that he is gonna be a daddy soon and you both need to be on the same page at all times and his hanging in the club days are gonna have to be far an in between. I really hope you all the best with everything commiucation is a two way door so you both need to use it. Why don't you be the one to start. This is really bothering you so speak up momma to-be. GL

    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 9:02 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Wish I could help but I'm going through the same thing with my boyfriend... GL and here's a bump.
    TessaHoney

    Answer by TessaHoney at 9:04 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • He's probably trying to find a balance, not treating you badly but spending time with friends, and you, when he can. Same with you, i'm sure, wanting to spend time with your boyfriend and then your friends.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 9:04 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • oh waow, thats hard. i think he loves you but in another way he doesn't want to give up his freedom. you can't be together all the time, but this is def a time he has to be there for you alot more, trust me, im having my first baby in dec and i think i would have gone mad if my fella was out with the boys all the time. you need to sit down and talk about how you feel and come up woth away that he can have time with his friends and then days that he has to spend with you. men can b such kids at times, it drives us girls nuts. try not to get mad during the talk cos u no how guys are, they go into a huff and do something stupid. i wish you all the luck in the world and congrates :)
    otoole

    Answer by otoole at 9:07 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I agree with all of these ladies. Just sit down and address the issue
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 9:15 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • do you live in a state with seasons? the reason I ask is I went through this with someone once when I lived in Chicago, and I started to notice when it was cold really cold he was sooo sweet (he had no car so it was warm at home) and as soon as it became warm he was nowhere to be found. always out with the "guys" but would get really mad if I was out without him. it turned out he was just "loving the one he's with" I had a hard time tiring to leave. not from not wanting to but from tiring to get him to let go. I had to call my brothers and cousins into town just so they could stand guard while I packed. (sometimes it's good to be the baby girl :0)

    northcarolinama

    Answer by northcarolinama at 9:26 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • There are some people that can go from one extreme to the next. It's possible he could be bipolar. My BIL and niece are.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:47 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Have you asked him why he does this? It may be something really simple.
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 3:37 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • The only person that can answer that is the man you are having a baby and a relationship with. We can only speculate and assume why he's doing the things that he's doing to you...we can only speculate that he really loves you but he needs to sow his oats...sowing his oats should've been done when he entered into a committed relationship....but that's just my thinking. The best way to get the right answer is to talk to your man...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:56 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Family Feud

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN