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is it wrong for me to interveen, when my partners children are extreamly rude to him and me?

they come from a broken home, their mother doesnt make an effort to seen them much 3 times only this year and when they are upset they explode and im not sure its my place to sit down calmly with them and work through their feelings with them.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on Oct. 14, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (4)
  • If you have health insurance then I would take them to see a counselor. They are probably pretty angry at their mom and they are projecting it onto the both of you. If you think you can calmly help them with their feelings then you could try. You are the mother figure in the home.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:37 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • My daughter sees her father maybe 4 times a year...we have had 5 homes since she was born..(she is 4) my point...I would not allow her nor tolerate her disrespecting anyone. My BF has twins 6 years old and I have no problem telling them when they are out of line. You deserve to be respected. You have to start some where.

    Answer by Dannee at 9:57 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • The way you phrased the question, it sound like you want to be supportive of them....As an adult role model for them (especially if their mother is largely absent) they may appreciate some limits, especially if it comes from a place of support and caring. Of course you don't want them to be rude or disrespectful towards you because it is unpleasant and inappropriate, but also because it is not fair to them for them to be allowed to act like that. They do need to be taught how to be respectful. If you are seriously involved with their Dad and you live with them, you should try to develop a good relationship with them which will include helping them to learn how to treat people. Try to be a good adult role-model for them, and show them caring..... I also agree that counseling would be a good idea for them and maybe for all of you to adjust to the new situation and the issues in their lives.

    Answer by BJoan at 10:10 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • They need to be in counceling, but if they are living in your house and you are being a mom to them then yes I would sit down and talk to them.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 11:04 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

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