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What would do if your son continued to ignore you?

I have a very good relationship with my oldest son, however recently we found out he was chewing tobacco. (This is not the first time we caught him two years ago when he was 14) He lost his "can" in the couch and we found it searching for the remote. My husband talked to him, (last time I did) he claims he wanted to try it again and lost the can a week ago. His punishment is his chores and his brothers for 2 weeks, he is not allowed out of the house (no sporting events, no walking around town...) Tonight he wanted to go to a VolleyBall game, I said no sticking to the punishment. I got home tonight, I've tried talking to him about this, atleast 3 times. He keeps walking away from me. I know he's doing it to hurt me, acting like he doesn't care about me is the worst thing he could do. I'm in tears and don't know what to do, or how to handle it. I'm probably too emotional but this is so hard. How would you handle this?


Asked by blessedwboysx3 at 9:56 PM on Sep. 7, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 21 (10,897 Credits)
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Answers (21)
  • You are giving him power by crying. You know what he is doing and letting it get to you. He is angry. It's ok for him to be angry. Ignoring you isn't the worst thing in the world. It's probably healthy. You need to stop crying and be the adult again. Tell him that you understand his anger but that you love him enough to stick to your guns. He will appreciate it later but for now he's pissed off. Let him deal with his anger but stop taking it personally. You did the right thing now don't give in. Take control back. He's fine.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:01 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • He is a teen. Whenever you do something he doesn't like, he will ignore you. It is his punishing you for punishing him. You have to deal with it and when he ignores you, then you do the same. He'll come around.

    Answer by Elayna90 at 9:58 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I dont have teens but i would ignore him back. Serves him right

    Answer by janieishappy at 9:57 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Tell him he needs to respect you, if you want to talk to him, he must sit and listen.

    Answer by QandA at 9:58 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I would contact the local cancer center and make him an appointment to talk to a doctor. See if he can show your son some pictures of people without tongue or mouth or chin. That ought to help. And give him a good smack. From an ex smoker who can hardly breathe at times. :(

    Answer by Whatkids at 9:58 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Thanks janie...that's what I'm doing but it is really hard for me considering we talk every day.

    Comment by blessedwboysx3 (original poster) at 9:58 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I would never suggest ignoring your child.

    Answer by QandA at 9:59 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I'd take him to the doctors and have them scrape his gums for cancer tests. SCARE the crap out of of gum cancer, throat cancer,etc.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:59 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Thanks ladies, I am not crying in front of him I walk away and go to my room for a few moments. I know I don't want him to see it. I know he's angry and I totally know its okay, plus I don't think he thought we were serious (I have a really bad habit of punishing but not keeping to it after a couple days, so I know why's angry and I know why he's doing it) Maybe I'll give it a day and try again tomorrow, just giving him a cool down evening.

    I will find a local cancer clinic and see if someone would be willing to talk to him and show him some things. I didn't do that last time and should have.

    Comment by blessedwboysx3 (original poster) at 10:06 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • Yolk him up by his shirt, sit his ass down, and MAKE him listen. What is it with parents allowing their children to walk all over them? YOU are the parent, YOU are in control. You make the rules and if he doesn't want to follow them tell him to get a job so he can work and GTFO.

    Answer by BaisMom at 10:07 PM on Sep. 7, 2010