Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Is it a waste of time to be nervous about my son's IEP meeting this week?

I saw tha handout and it involves like 10 people, and i'm really shy so I dont know what to expect, for those of you moms who have gone through this do you got to talk to or we just listen to whatever the administration, principal and evaluator people have to say? How long does it last? because the counselor told me it lasts 15 minutes and the principal told me it lasts a whole long hour!!! I'm really nervous and nauseas just worrying about it I wanted it through phone but the principal wants it in person and my son is only in kinder.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on Sep. 7, 2010 in

Answers (10)
  • It's ok. If you are shy or have problems with anxiety (I do), then it'll be uncomfortable. You'll be ok. Just focus on what you want for your child. They will do most of the talking. Each person involved will tell you how your child is doing with them and what they expect for him in the upcoming year. They will ask you what your concerns are. I know how you feel. It was just me and about 6 other people and I'm not comfortable with that. Now my oldest is 9 and I've done it so many times I know all the people involved, but the sheer number of people still gets my heart racing. If you need an advocate see if you can find someone in the area who can go with you to make sure your son gets what he needs. The meetings can be intimidating.
    Desi_Momof4

    Answer by Desi_Momof4 at 11:39 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • what kind of meeting is that? sorry my son is only in pre k
    gabby06

    Answer by gabby06 at 11:39 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • The IEP is a good thing, it least it was for me. I think it has to be in person. It would be very difficult to do over the phone. All of the people there have your son's best interest at heart. These people should be your support system. They were for me. You will listen, you will talk to them about your son's behavior and environment at home. You'll work out a program for him together. They will give you suggestions, and you will give them input. Don't worry about this. Go in there knowing that you now have support that is on your son's side. You do need to participate. Your son needs you to put your own shyness aside for him. (I can totally relate, before my kids I was very shy, mine are now grown, when you have to do things for them you just do them, and at some point you may realize that it's done you good as well.)

    Good Luck, I'd love to hear from you after the IEP, if you want to message me.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:46 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I agree with ohwrite 100%- & Desi Momof4 too- IEP meetings can be very intimidating at first- especially, if you have a hard time in large groups of people- Believe Me, i understand- my Anxiety goes out of control around a group of people but, you can do this- i promise! They will probably have everything already written up but, make sure you are o.k. with it- Don't just sign it b/c you want to hurry up & leave- If you disagree with anything, just let the team know so you can find a Happy Medium- I would read your handbook & highlight things you think are important- Take it with you & take a notebook so, you can take some notes on what they are saying- I wrote notes through the first few meetings with my son b/c it helped with my anxiety but, they were also very helpful- The IEP team wants your son to have all the tools he needs to succeed & feel good about learning in his own special way- No Worries Momma! It will be fine!
    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 12:17 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • It can last anywhere between 30 min to an hour. Don't be anxious. But do pay attention to what is said. I've learned the hard way. If you don't understand something then ask questions. You need to understand what is going on. Take a notebook and pencil and write things down if you have to. Then you can always go back and make sure you understand exactly what they are saying.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:26 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Is there a way you can get someone to be whats called a "Parent Advocate"? These people will talk for you. They are so handy to talk to. Just let them know on what you are looking for when it comes time for the meetings. The one thing i have learned from these meetings. they shold know on what the weaknesses are and the strenths are. If he/she learns by audio, then bring it up, if the child is a visual learner, they need to work with that. I also know that as a parent you can talk in these meetings. Don't let them leave until you are satisfied and understand on what they have decided. These meetings shold last about 1/2 hour to an hour. Good luck and stand tall for yourself and your child.
    Airforce3mom

    Answer by Airforce3mom at 12:45 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • i think im lucky with this one. my daughter is still in preschool and they will come do those meetings at my house. its easy, its not as stressful as you would think. all they want is your input on what is going to work best for your child. they want to know if thier ideas are going to work, after all your his mom and your the only one that knows him well enough to say what he will respond to. good luck, dont stress. they usually have it all written out so that the meeting goes smoothly and is easy to understand, and they will change anything you ask them to change.....even if you dont agree on where they think your child stands. do you take anything for anxiety? it might be a good ides to take it if you do. if not you can try drinking some camomile tea before you go....just to help keep your nerves in check.
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 1:20 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I have a 3 year old who is autistic and so in the last year I've had tons of meetings. View them as a social meeting with the view of being your Childs education.
    whoreallycares

    Answer by whoreallycares at 4:49 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • An IEP is meant to be a good thing. I was on the other side working as part of the team of professionals but your role is super important and that is why the school wants your input. The teachers and others will have goals they wish to work towards with your son. You want to know what those goals are and how they are going to work towards them being accomplished and what your role will be. I am sure you also have goals you want to see your son accomplish...let the school know. To be honest I would be nervous because I would want the very best for my child and would want to have the courage to speak up and say what goals I think are worth pursuing and what I think should be done to see them attained. It isn't easy to be an advocate for your child. The good thing is if you have a good team working with your son they will all have his best interest at heart!

    bookworm23

    Answer by bookworm23 at 6:20 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • hope all went well
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 11:10 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.