Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

What can I do to get my parents/in laws involved with my children?!

Grandparents Day at my kids' school is Friday. It still eats me up that my mother in law never showed one year and BOTH my kids were crying at school because she promised she'd go. She lives across the street from the school...she "forgot." ONE day out of the year and she forgot. The only time my parents have ever gone is when my oldest son was in Kindergarten. My Dad is a drunk, my Mom is selfish/crazy/rude, my mother in law is a whiny lazy arse, and my father in law is also a drunk. My kids basically have no grandparents because none of them can be counted on for any thing. They don't visit, call or return calls. Rarely one will show up to a sporting event, late or some times drunk. It's bad enough not to have parents, but for my kids not to have grandparents hurts my feelings. They are hurting my kids! This kind of thing keeps me up at night. :( What can I do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 AM on Sep. 8, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • No one needs a grandparent in their life especially if that Grandparent cannot do right. It's nice to have one don't get me wrong. But only if that grandparent is going to positively add to the kids life. IF they can't then you should really distance yourself from them and not expect them to do anymore until they decide to change.  Until then all you can do is protect your children from some of the pain they will feel. I know from experience that you can want something bad but when it  is dependent on another person  we cannot make them do what we feel is right in the end of it all. So be grateful that they have you a loving mother, and father who will be there for them.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 2:28 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • ADOPT A GRANDPARENT!!! a lot of retirement communities have things like that. for the elderly who have no family, that would be such a cool thing!!! there are old people out there longing for grandchildren a smuch and you and your kids are longing for a grandparent!!!!
    good luck :D:D:D
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 1:45 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • tell them off and sit down with your kids and explain to them its not their fault and that hopefully the grandparents realize all the amazing things they do!!!!
    pinkdena

    Answer by pinkdena at 2:49 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • There are some great ideas here! Grandparents don't have to be blood related, as much as we'd like our parents involved. My dad has never met my son, and frankly, as sad as it makes me, having my dad out of his life has significantly reduced the drama in my son's life (and in turn, my own). You can't change people, especially the older they get. It took me a LONG time to accept that my dad is the way he is, and it took a lot for me to tell him that unless he made some changes, he won't be part of my son's life. He made a choice, and now he's missing out on his ONLY grandchild, who is a FANTASTIC kid. It's sad, but like I said, ultimately, it's better for my son. He doesn't know anything different. There are enough other loving people in his life, so I focus on that.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 3:46 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I think it's time that you lived life without your parents involved (they're not involved anyway), accept them for who they are and move on. It's sad, but you're not going to be able to change that. The more you accept the situation, and make the best of it, the better your own children will accept it and come to not even miss them (they won't know any different).

    I wouldn't go out of your way to try and arrange time for them together, you're only setting yourself (and the kids) up for disappointment. Instead, know what you can rely on....yourself, and enjoy your children and your time with them.
    Sonnut

    Answer by Sonnut at 7:18 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • BUMP!
    Mrs.B3

    Answer by Mrs.B3 at 1:55 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • That adopt a grandparent idea is great! I wouldn't bother trying to get the real grandparents involved. It sounds like they don't give a flying turd anyway. All that'll happen is your kids will get let down. Do they have any great-grandparents?
    JerbysMom

    Answer by JerbysMom at 3:03 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I LOVE the adopt a grandparent idea ! so much better than trying to get the real ones involved when they just might wreak havoc and embarass your children....
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 5:31 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • they need to spend some moments with ur kids .. they have to know kids an adore ur kids ... kids are lovely so dnt worry abt that ... make a BBQ to celebrate grandparents and kids events .. make it lke a day per month or per year so they can come and play with kids .. kids will ne closer thna before and they can make ther own way to be loved by ther granpa ...

    cheers,
    caramelH

    Answer by caramelH at 7:13 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Don't set your kids up for disappointment anymore - don't ever tell them that the grandparents are going to do anything with them. You can't force them to be involved, it's their loss. Adopt a grandparent is a great idea!!
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 12:48 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN