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what works for dealing with 9 yr old son temper tantrum?

My son had a two hour temper tantrum last nite because he had to practice the violin. He tore up his bed and I think he even punched closet door. I tried calmly talking to him which helped until he realized I wasn't givng in, then it kept going. This morning he blamed it on missing his dad. I understand a little since he just came home from being there 3 weeks. Any suggestions for tonight when it time for practice again?

Answer Question
 
aeemom

Asked by aeemom at 12:34 PM on Oct. 14, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • sorry i have no tips other then dont give in. He is old enough to understand that there are consequences to his actions so i would let him know that that behavior isnt going to be tolerated and tell him what the punishment will be if it continues...also he is old enough to have a sit down before its time to practice and explain to him why he need to practice and why you wont tolerate the behavior...then give him a chance to say what ever it is he needs to say
    Rysana

    Answer by Rysana at 12:40 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I can TOTALLY REL8 in every part of ur ? bc my 10 yr old son does this from x 2 x & also misses his BF. If u want 2 talk, send me a message as I'm goin thru the same things & maybe we can help ea. other.4 starters, I wouldn't talk 2 him until he calms down bc he's not hearing u when he's angry. As far as punching things, again, my son has done the same thing and we try 2 encourage him not 2 bc IMO, it sends them a message that hitting is ok. About him missing his dad, maybe have him write a letter (even if he writes it 5-6 xs) 2 get those feelings out & send it. U mite also talk 2 his BF ur self & let him no how r son's feeling & maybe he can call him. Hope this helps, good luck & hang in there.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 7:11 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I would back off. I understand that you want him to practice, I just think that is should be something that he wants to do.

    My oldest plays guitar and sax, I tell him he should practice, but i leave it up to him. It is not a battle I think is worth having.

    I tell him he is only hurting himself by not practicing. If he chooses not to practice that is his choice.

    I guess sometimes you need to just pick and choose your battles.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:09 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

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