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Do you talk bad things to your kids about their dad?

My dd is one year old and she doesn't understand that i'm talking about her dad, but there is nothing good i can talk about him and i'm wondering, if when she grow up i will still talk about him! There is nothing good about him because he refuses to believe that my one year old dd and this baby that is coming belongs to him! he just reject them... so... i'm only 16 but it's like there is nothing about him! i know i have alot of times to think what i'm going to tell to my childrens but anyway i want to hear some mom opinions about it... so i can be ready when the time comes...
at least my one year old dd saw her dad 3 or 4 times, but this baby that is inside of me won't know his or her dad.
just tell me... how do you feel when you hear your mom or someone talking bad things about a man that is your dad but you never know him?

Answer Question
 
Sofiah

Asked by Sofiah at 7:34 AM on Sep. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (300 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • You shouldn't talk about him, even if she is too young to understand.
    queen.bee

    Answer by queen.bee at 7:41 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • You should never talk badly about him, that will make the children think they are bad because they came from him. You can tell them the truth when they are old enough to understand, but don't be hateful and call him names. Do you have help from your Mom or someone? It is very good that you are thinking about what is best for your babies. Just because you are young doesn't mean you have to be a bad mom. You sound like you can be a great Mom! Please write me if you ever need any advice or help. I was a young Mommy, too!
    momof3josephs

    Answer by momof3josephs at 7:43 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • my mom used to do that with me and my brothers. Didn't think anything of it back then, but it did give a one-sided view which wasn't fair to Dad.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 7:43 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • First off, you need to prove that he is their father.......which means a court appointed DNA test. You will then need to make sure that he is supporting your kids. Secondly if he is a teenager also he still has time to grow up and realize that he actually wants to be a part of his childrens lives so that means keep your opinion to yourself, do not let your kids know how you feel. Don't talk about the bad times or the immature decisions he's made.......talk about the good times the two of you have had (and obviously there has been some good times since your gonna have 2 kids with him). You need to be an adult about this, you have a responsibility to your kids and they deserve to know their father.......whether he's an ass now or not.
    colethky

    Answer by colethky at 7:46 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • if you talk bad about the dad it will only come back to bite you in the ass when they're old enough to understand and make their own opinion. never talk bad about the father, and get a dna test (court ordered and enforced) to prove he's the father if that's the big issue.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 7:57 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • my husband is the only dad my son has known or can really remember..son no..i do not talk bad about him. As for his bio dad he does not exist in his life or in any of my every day conversations. I have no reason to talk about him unless its mumbling under my breath..."where the fuck is the child support this month"
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:04 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I think if you speak badly of thier father they will eventually resent you for that no matter how bad he is. Honestly, no matter how bad he is, he is still their dad.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 8:06 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • First of all...NO MATTER WHAT, a parent who ditches another parent in front of their child is SORRY. No matter what he did or did not do, it is that child's precious faith and trust you are destroying. Just because they are a year old, they do sense things and is getting alot more than you think they are. My oldest boy's father and I ended up not liking each other, BUT....that man would fight tooth and nail for me because I was his beloved son's mother (and vice versa). When he perished in a coal mining accident in 2001, I lost a part of me because he was a part of our son.
    MaryWolfe

    Answer by MaryWolfe at 8:13 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I agree with princessbeth79's response. Good lesson learned-Never talk bad against children's parent. You may feel a certian way about it but don't voice it. Child will form their own feelings as they get older. A Dna test is wise to do because it will clear up lots of issues and attitudes just might improve. Good Luck!!
    CatPaws2

    Answer by CatPaws2 at 8:23 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • i know everybody tell me to ask for child support, but he never paid for anything my dd have! I WAS JUST young but i did work and saved money for her!! NOBODY PAID FOR ANYTHING!, I PAID MY OWN BILLS IN THE HOSPITAL,and everything by my own.! WHy i should ask for money now? and he came from a broken home, he doesn't work, and he doesn't seems to be interested on meeting my chid and the unborn to.
    Sofiah

    Comment by Sofiah (original poster) at 8:45 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

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