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4 1/2 year old not telling the truth?

my 41/2 year old chooses to tell friends made up stories that are not the truth, or when asked about something, she does not tell the truth. before this started to happen i have read her a story about piglet not telling the truth about something he broke, just wondering if she has had ideas from that story?

looking for suggestions?

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fieldwood

Asked by fieldwood at 1:28 PM on Oct. 14, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • I think all kids go through a phase of not telling the truth. While it's frustrating; now would probably be a good time to start teaching her that lying is wrong, and that it hurts other people. I know with my daughter that if I talk about feelings (her's and other people's), she is more apt to listen and remember. Good Luck!
    evilabbysmom

    Answer by evilabbysmom at 1:33 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • talk to her as much as it takes. Set rules and boundaries..yes for a 4 yr old. Let her know it is unacceptable and there are consequences. tell her the story about the boy who cried wolf. She won't be four long. In my experience kids lie for 2 reasons..to avoid accepting resposibilty for a wrong doing...and for attention. Go over the piglet story again if it is well written. If you can't get control of this soon it will become habit and a problem likely to follow her throughout life.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:34 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I read a parenting book once that devoted each chapter to a different age . . . Chapter 1 was about 1 year olds, Chapter 2 about 2 year olds, and so on. I vividly remember the first line in Chapter 4; it said "All 4 years olds are liars." Keep talking to her and explaining right from wrong; it may just be a phase. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I disagree.. Any book that classifies an entire group of children based on age as being one thing or another is not a book I would depend on for accurate info. I would agree that MOST children lie at one time or another. Out of the 3 that are already grown and the two I'm raising now, only one was a liar. A true liar. He lied about everything and it made no difference if it was important or not. I guess maybe I have a problem calling a 4 yr old a 'liar' in general. Telling a lie once does not make a child a liar..at least not to me.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:58 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • Sure, she could have got the idea from the story. But kids this age don't really understand the concept of a lie either.
    She will make up stories that seem more interesting than real life. The neighbor's dog may have flown up into the tree to rescue a baby bird when in real life the dog just sat there and barked.
    She will also make up stories that she wishes were true. Her imaginary friend is the one who threw the ball in the living room and broke the vase.
    Don't scold her for lying - she won't "get it". Say something like "Wow! What a good imagination you have. Wouldn't it be neat if dogs really could fly?" and then drop the topic. Or "It's too bad your imaginary friend forgot the rule about balls in the house. I'm sure she will remember next time. Go get a broom and help me clean up the mess then you will need to sit in timeout." Hold her accountable and punish her for what she did but ignore the lie.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 4:34 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • My 4 year old is such a liar. However, she also has a wild imagination so I am not concerned about it. If I do catch her in a lie then I tell her why it is wrong to lie and that it is better to tell the truth, etc, etc, etc. In the long wrong, I think all kids go through this lying stage. Be consistent and continue to praise your daughter when you know she is telling you the truth.
    Colleen801

    Answer by Colleen801 at 9:40 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • thanks to everyone for the advice. i feel a little more confident in moving on with this milestone of her development and hopefully will pass and can learn early from it.
    fieldwood

    Answer by fieldwood at 1:56 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

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