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too young for this?

Does anyone out there having trouble w/their girls (mine's 10, just turned in September) being boy crazy already? We had an issue this weekend where a note was found from our daughter answered by the boy and our dd had written Love, and her name after it. What sends up a red flag is a couple weeks ago I overheard the girls talking about which boys they like (many times during a 2 day period). We found a note written by her last year about a crush she has on a boy. We talked to her about it (last year)told her we thought she was a little young to be interested in boys and crushes, etc. She won't tell us who the note was from (this year) and there was a necklace found w/the note. She won't tell us about that either. How can we get her to tell us when you can't force a kid to tell you anything if they don't want to. Are we just overreacting? It's the secretive part that is concerning to us, esp.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Oct. 14, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • i think it's just a crush, nothing to worry about. when i was that age i remember keeping it from my parents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I personally would set an age when she can actually date (16 is good or allow "group dates" at 14 or something) and let her know until then they can be friends. Kids are getting into relationships way too early these days. It may be time to start talking about sex if you haven't already and explain why waiting is a good thing - and explain to her the dangers of boys saying stuff to be manipulative for sex.

    Maybe she needs male attention right now - a "date" once or twice a month with Daddy (he takes her to lunch or dinner and something like mini golf to just have some Daddy/daughter time and talk) could be effective.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • At that age the girls are interested and the boys think they are nuts. Nothing to worry about unless the boy is older.

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 3:01 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I have tween boys and they are girl crazy too. She's probably not opening up to you because she already knows you disapprove. If you tell her she can't have a boyfriend, she will just do it behind your back. At 10 they usually don't do anything more than hold hands and talk on the phone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • So far it doesn't sound like you have come across any notes that are inappropriate.. just you school crushes that can change from one day to the next. When my son was 10 he went on a field trip and brought back really cute earrings.. I thought they were for me... he took them to a girl at school the next day... i thought it was cute... just keep the lines of communication open so that when she does get older she'll feel like she can come to you when "the one" comes along. As long as it's innocent crushes.. don't make too big of a deal of it.

    Answer by bonn777 at 9:38 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • Yes the girls are boy crazy at that age. Yet the boys usually are clueless. It is usually harmless. They are crushes, Like the whole Troy and High School Musical or Jonas Brothers thing.
    I remember having a little boyfriend in 5th grade. When my daughter was that age I freaked when she had a crush on a boy. LOL! It's funny how being the mom changes things.

    Answer by CelticFaerie at 8:11 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • LOL oh the Joy of Tweens and Teens. My daughter didnt start until 7th grade because that was her BLOSSOM time the boys are all over her! i will say I didnt like it at first and I was very hesitant but I also have to be real too, she is changing this is all part of their emotional growth and yadda yadda you cannot stop it but what you can do is, be open and willling to listen to her about the BOYS! The one thing you do not want is for her to think she has to sneak boys around. I will get goofy with my daughter and tell her she is silly but I will ask questions not intensely and talk to her that it is oK to have a crush but she is still to young to date and all that jazz and I will ask who she is dating this week so that in the future she will feel comfortable talking to me about boys.

    Answer by Mooska at 7:38 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

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