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2 Bumps

I think my FIL is racist

Recently it's becoming more offensive to me and not sure I can tolerate it anymore with out saying something to him.
New neighbors moved in across he street from him, they are black and he atomatically thinks they are drug dealers! He always has something to say about "black" people. I am hispanic and my husband is white. It is very hurtful to me to hear him talk like this. I feel my DH should say something to him, because FIL thinks it's ok and I'm afraid one day he is going to say something to the wrong person.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Sep. 8, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Some folks from the older generation are the "Archie Bunker" types. You'll be hard-pressed to "change" him. He may grumble to you, his family, but would probably never say it to the other people directly. Just make sure he keeps his language in check around the kids, and learn to love him for his other qualities. My dear g-pa was similar & I called him my apple pie- A bit crusty on the outside, but an All American sweety on the inside! :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:42 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • a person like that can only change themselves.

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:36 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I agree with virginiamamma.
    And if You're offended, then do your own dirty work and say something to him yourself.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:38 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Talk to him yourself. Ask him to keep quiet about those remarks at least while you're around. He's your FIL, I see no problem with you talking to him first and if he continues have your DH talk to then.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:39 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • My MIL is racist too. It is very annoying because she is always talking bad about black people.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 10:46 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • it is how it is. People are racist. Its their personal view on life! I wish people would stop caring so much about what other people think. If you dont like the fact that he is racist. Dont go over to his house.
    Mommy2JoshNJake

    Answer by Mommy2JoshNJake at 11:04 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Your husband knew his father was a racist, way before he married you....do not have your husband to speak with his father in regards to your fil issues...and please don't be afraid that your fil will say the wrong thing to the right person...because he will not...most racist are cowards and will not say a racist word to "black" people...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:33 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • tell your father in law that you want him to refrain from making offensive statements in your presence - that you understand that he feels the way he feels but you don't want to hear it. i had to tell this to my own father when i was in grade school. i've had to tell my husband. i don't care if they don't like my opinion, i have a right to be respected.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:03 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I would talk to him yourself, he has to know it offends YOU. You don't want to have your DH say something and make a rift between them, he knows how his Dad is and it might seem like he's attacking if he says it to him, like he got a wild hair and decided to say something. If you tell him how you truly feel, I'm sure he'll stop doing it in front of you. Mine and DH's family like to use racial slurs and we simply told them, "Say it around us and our children and we won't be coming over anymore." If you give people ulitmatums, you usually see results.
    kamsmommy17

    Answer by kamsmommy17 at 6:42 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Ur fil is not gonna change. I wouldnt be surprised if he talked bout you too.
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 9:10 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

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