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I am a bad mother...

I am a 23YO single mother of a 10 month old & a 2.5 YO. I've been feeling completely overwhelmed. I have no help with the kids. Their dad was abusive 2 me during my 2nd pregnancy & I haven't heard from him since I got the restraining order (child support can't even find him).
I just get so stressed out & I do things I never wanted 2 do as a parent. I yell @my son when he doesn't listen, and sometimes I get so frustrated that I tell him "I'm gonna whoop ur ass" (I never would), sometimes I let my daughter sit in her seat and cry while I'm trying to get other things done, sometimes I forget to change my sons diaper for like 5 hours, I know I overfeed baby but its the only thing th@ put 2 sleep the 5 times she wakes up, & the baby has fallen off the bed twice...I just don't know how 2 handle stress when I am the only one responsible for them 24/7. Some days I think they dont even have any fun with me, Im always in crisis mode....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Sep. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Sorry to hear things are going so rough. But, I don't think you are a bad mother ~ or you wouldn't recognize that there is a problem and want to fix it! I agree with the first answer ~ find some therapy ~ someone to talk to and you will surely find things will turn around. Good luck and congrats for looking for an answer ~ that is a huge step!
    jekrmom

    Answer by jekrmom at 11:02 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Sounds like you are very overwhelmed and depressed. I'm not going to lay in on you. Obviously you know it isn't right, you said so yourself. I commend you for being brave enough to speak of it, Honestly! I think you are depressed severly,and need to go to therapy to sort out your feelings. There are underlying issues that stem from WAY before the abusive ex you need to face. You are feeling left, alone, and starting to cave. Once you are better, everyone can get better. PM or ad me if you ever need to talk. I will never pull your covers.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:55 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • i am sorry you are going through this, i was a single parent myself with three kids, 7 yr old, 8 yr old and a newborn, few weeks after new borns wbirth i went back to work. so i know how challenging it can be. i think you need to find someone to talk to, i actually did counseling over the phone because it was hard to find time. hang in there, they won't stay that young forever, things will get better.
    DKK2010

    Answer by DKK2010 at 11:11 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I also understand how u are feeling i was a 17 yr old single mom of a 8 month old... i know that was only one child so its a bit different but i was also working and going to school so i felt like the worst mom anytime i became over stressed with her. I had a sitter for when i was at school and work but other than that i was on my own. i made sure i only work a few hours a day so i could b with her more tho. i was home 2 hours befor i had to work and was back home to do bath time and all that good stuff... i was the one up and down at night and still getting up at 5 for school. Talking was the only thing that really helped me get thru it all. Sometimes just letting it out helps.
    tiffany0317

    Answer by tiffany0317 at 11:20 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • you have a lot to deal with!
    there is a church near us that has a free baby sitting service, so moms can get a break.
    i go to a gym that has child care. when i only had 2 kids, i would put them in the stroller and walk, sometimes we would walk for hours!!! the fresh air is good for everyone.
    good luck to you. i hope things turn around soon!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 11:27 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • dont u have any family near u or friends u could talk to or take a break from the kids with?
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 11:45 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • you are not a bad mother!!! youre a great mother!! you are thinking of your babies...but you need a BREAK!!! we all need a break sometimes...happy mommy = happy babies....get some help with the kids for a few hours or a day or over night so you can get a full nights sleep...once you have 'reset' and are rested and have time to miss your children you will feel ssoooooo much better...also, some of us need more frequent breaks than others do so dont feel bad about that either...i hate leaving my baby girl but its important because it makes me a better Mommy...and i need a break at least for a couple hours once a week, minimum....it WILL get better! GL!!
    mamagee1218

    Answer by mamagee1218 at 11:45 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • You are not a bad mom...just alone,scared and overwhelmed. Time for some help. Do you have anyone around you? A friend, a family member, a neighbor...a church? Everyone needs a break. Being a single mom is so hard, and scary and exhausting...I have been there with my own 3...I now have 5. You get so tired of being the grown up...you just need someone to take care of you once in awhile. Please remember your 2 1/2 yr old is not out to get you..he is just being who he is...2 and 1/2. Use time outs...be consistent even when you are tired, it won't be long before he knows you mean business. It is ok to let a baby cry it out. Don't over feed...just make sure she is changed, full and safe, and let her cry it out so she learns to self sooth herself back to sleep and you can sleep too. You can e-mail me here if you need a shoulder, I will do whatever I can.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 12:21 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I wouldnt sy that you are a bad mother, but if you do not ge help, then you will be cossing over to the bad side! Unfortunatly it is neglect to not chnge your child for that long, and overfeeding is also in that category! Get help is allI can say! I am 24 with 5 kids, and yes I have a wonderful helpful husband, but he is miliary, and they leave for 12-8 monthes at a time, and I til manage to not neglect them! God luck!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 3:08 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • you are not a bad mom at all i think all single mother's feel the same way there are programs in your state sure that offer free child care of low coast i think u should look into that and then u should go talk to someone even if it's a friend just to talk to or go talk to a doctor and see if they have any ideas on how to lower your stresses leave
    Geunie0x1091

    Answer by Geunie0x1091 at 3:22 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

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