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2 Bumps

Are we doing the right thing?

My SO and I have been together for a year and at first it was great, but once things settled in we didn't get along so well anymore. We love eachother very much, but we honestly just don't get along well. We have both turned into people that we don't want to be. Is it possible to be in love with someone but just have it not work? If so, why does it hurt so bad that we are splitting up? We live together and my DD and I will be moving (he is not her biodad) . I just don't understand...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Sep. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Love isn't the only thing you need in a relationship. You need respect, common goals, appreciation; being with the person you love should make you a better person (or strive to be a better person). If you aren't happy with who you are when you're together it's best to separate.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:06 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Yes, you can love each other completely, and still not be happy together. Honestly, yes it does hurt to split up, but if you are not happy together your DD will realize that and feel the strain from it. Only you and your SO can decide if you all are doing the best thing by going your separate ways, but just because it is the right thing, does not mean that it won't hurt.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:08 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • It hurts because you do care about him. I believe that some people are not meant to live together no matter how much they love each other.
    One of my dd's friends parents are like that. They are wonderful and considerate of each other but they could not live together. To illustrate the point, she got very homesick for her birth country and wanted to move back. He went too - separate living places but close enough for the kids to go back and forth easily.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 11:09 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I know it hurts but it happens.
    LoveU4Eva

    Answer by LoveU4Eva at 11:11 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • A successful relationship takes more than love. It takes much effort.
    errantmommy

    Answer by errantmommy at 11:12 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • When you're with the right person, you will bring out each others good side, not the ugly side. You become better people when together.

    My mom says you can love someone, but not like them. That's how she feels about my dad (and my evil sister...lol)
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:17 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I have been with someone for 10 years and there are no feeling for him anymore. I stay to help support my 3kids since he works and I do not . Yes you can still love that someone maybe cause for your kids. But you have to do what is best for you. I know kids pick up on feelings form the parents. Somepeople you love you can live with and others you love but can not live with . I hope that makes sense and to keep your head up.
    momindiana

    Answer by momindiana at 1:11 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • when you get together at first you don't have shared responsibilities and have to think too far ahead. as the comfort level increases things come out you didn't know at first, along with the tendency to take each other for granted. as my counselor said some years ago it is really about bad habits in communication and behavior and can be changed. unless you understand why things fell apart you are likely to repeat the same mistakes in future relationships. relationships are hard. perhaps you two can get some counseling and some tools to learn to work together again and improve things. breaking up only relieves things temporarily...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:55 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I WAS IN YOUR POSITION AND I PERSONALLY I REGRET LEAVING MY SO....MY SO WAS A GREAT FATHER AND MAN TO ME AND MY DAUGHTER HE JUST DIDNT HAVE A JOB BUT HE HAD A HUSTLE(NOT DRUGS) HIS MONEY WASNT ON THE REGULAR. I DIDNT RESPECT HIM ENUFF, STARTED TALKING TO OTHER GUYS (NEVER SLEEP WITH ANYONE ELSE) BUT ONE DAY I JUST PACKED ME AND MY DAUGHTER STUFF AND LEFT...HE WAS HURT AND I WAS TO AFTER I REALIZE THAT I WAS MISSING HIM AND ALL THE THINGS THAT WE DID TOGETHER...ON TOP OF THAT MY DAUGHTER WAS MISSING HIM AS WELL.....SO ONE DAY I CALLED AND SPOKE WITH HIM (IN PERSON) AND GOT MY MAN BACK...JOB OR NO JOB. MY ADVICE TO YOU IS RE-EVALUATE THE SITUATION AND MAYBE YALL BOTH NEED TO MAKE SOME CHANGES FOR THE BETTER AND GET THAT LOVE BACK ON TRACK. INBOX ME SOMETIMES.....THINK ABOUT UR DECISION AND WHO ALL YOU ARE REFLECTING....ITS NOT FUN BEING SINGLE...
    mom42107

    Answer by mom42107 at 2:22 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

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