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5 Bumps

WHY should men be allowed to do this?

Not pay a dime for anything and still moms should suck it up and let them be involved? Especially when there is another man in their life who wants to support them and be there every single day. Why is it fair for one man who isn't even the biological father to support a child and be a daddy just to be pushed to the side because a dead beat wants to bounce in and out of his kid's life and not be responsible for anything?

*for the record, the man i'm talking about should not be given a "chance", he will never change. He already has two kids that beg him to be around and he's had all the chances in the world with them.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Sep. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I think the judgmental statements need to stop. There is no reason for getting nasty to her for the mistakes YOU feel she made. We ALL make mistakes. Your not above her. Basing your judgment on one little snippet of her life,and not the WHOLE story is ignorant.

    Now, as for child support and visitation. In most states, this is separate. Just because a man/women does not pay child support does not mean they lose their legal right to see the child. I've been divorced for 10 years. Two of my kids are adults now. My ex is behind on support for my 16 y.o. even though he's behind he still can see my daughter. It's something that's out of our control. A child should know who their father is even if he's a loser. We do not have the right to deny someone of that. I agree with Ashley.

    Answer by lioness3e at 9:00 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Why did you have a child with someone that already had two kids he doesn't support or pay attention to????

    And now you act surprised...


    Answer by Niki_sd at 1:25 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • well if you want him to pay then get a court order for child support

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 11:28 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • You knew he was a deadbeat before you had a kid with him. I don't have any sympathy.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:29 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • They shouldn't but the legal belief is that sperm entitles a man to bounce in and out of the child's life as the mood strikes and not help with health, education or wellbeing. It's crap but I doubt it will change.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:33 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • You have the right to tell him that he is not allowed and if he has an issue with that which he probably won't then he'll have to take you to court. But he probably wouldn't do that either because then he would probably have to pay child support. Just brush him off. Unless your children are old enough to make thier own decisions about him. And as long as he is safe to be around?

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 11:37 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • So he had 2 kids that he didn't pay attention to and you thought he would change just because you had a baby with him?

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:37 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Sometimes the mothers allow it, i have a friend who has a deadbeat babys dad& her son thinks of him very highly even though its her now husband who cares & supports him, i have a sister who also has a deadbeat babys daddy n doesnt let him see the kids , she is now married to someone else who cares & supports for her kids does all the things the real daddy should be doing so thats why she wont give him the privlege.

    Answer by gabby06 at 11:32 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • yeah I knew a Deadbeat Mother who did the same thing to her Ex (a single dad with 3 kids).

    Answer by Zoeyis at 11:33 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Oh and for those who are saying that if he doesn't pay, he doesn't get to see the kids...That all depends on the state.
    In Illinois, child support and visitation are seperate court orders and one has nothing to do with the other.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:38 AM on Sep. 8, 2010