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3 Bumps

Are you friends with your ex (father of you children)?

It is realllly too soon to even be thinking about it, but my ex wants us to be friends. We just broke up less than a month ago and he wants the three of us to go out to dinner tonight, to show our two year old that mommy and daddy still get along. Well, I'm still really hurt by the whole thing and don't think I'm ready to be friends with him. I think I'll end up crying when I leave, which isn't good for our daughter to see. When I lost him I lost my love, my best friend, everything, and it kills me to be around him.

EVENTUALLY I do want us to be friends, to be able to go do stuff together, but for now its too hard.

Were you able to get over a break up/divorce and be friends with your ex? HOW?!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Sep. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • My ex did this as a last ditch effort to get us back together. Your child can tell if you get along together by how you interact without going out to dinner.
    Going out to dinner just confuses them more. They see mommy and daddy acting as a family but at the end of the night, you go your seperate ways again.
    You can be friends but you have to give it time. My ex and I are friends and it didnt' take that long. BUT, he had to finally get to the point where he knew it was over and there would be no more chances.
    Give yourself time.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:33 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • When my ex and I divorced, we separated completely. There is not need to have "family" get togethers - you aren't an intact family anymore. We get along fine, talk as needed for the kids, but we have established boundaries that are good for all of us. Our kids also have no illusion of us getting back together.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:34 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • You have the right to take you time. I try to be friendly with my kids' dads but I wouldnt expect them to be willing to do this after one month though.
    conweis

    Answer by conweis at 11:34 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I know exactly how you feel. My daughter's dad and I are like best friends now but when we first broke up, I couldn't even stand talking about him.
    Our situation was complucated because we are a group of 5 people who all live nearby, he and his twin sister have been my best friends since Kindergarten and our 2 other friends are his sister DH and his brother, who are my cousins. So I run into him ALL THE TIME!!
    We broke up before our daughter was born and we decided to keep it typical for the baby. So for the first few months our relationship was very typical and it only involved whatever had to do with the baby.

    But since we have the same best friends it was hard not to hang out together. So we did, and we slowly managed to be friends again.

    Now, 5 years later, we are best friends again. We can talk to each other about anything, even dating other people, our sex life etc... But it took time to get over one another.
    mygirlpaige

    Answer by mygirlpaige at 11:35 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I don't think it is possible to just be "friends" right now.....my ex and i just broke up like 2 months ago he is still trying to get back with me so it wouldn't be possible to "just be friends'' with him
    Shannon706

    Answer by Shannon706 at 11:36 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I don't have children with my ex. but, yes, we are friends... It just makes things easier...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:36 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • yeah but exes and DH don't mix well :)
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 11:36 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I dont deal with my daughter's father. I deal with his mother. Maybe once a year we will see or talk to each other but we arent friends.
    mandynjohnsmom

    Answer by mandynjohnsmom at 11:48 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Ill tell you Im going threw this right now. Im ex is being insane trying to get me to come back to him. Its kinda really sad. But Im holding my ground. We are not good together and I know that now. I wont ever go back to him. In fact one of the last things I told him was I wanted to stop talking about personal things and only things that pertained to our kids. Let me tell you HE FREAKED OUT! And showed me yet another reason why I am doing the right thing.
    Shani527

    Answer by Shani527 at 11:57 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • OP here: My ex has no desire or intention of us getting back together. If anything I am the one who wants to get back together, but its not worth going through this all over again.

    Anyhow, I'm not concerned that he wants to go so we can work things out, I just don't think I can go sit through a meal with him and walk away feeling ok about the whole thing.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:03 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

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