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Some Advice plz?

So me and my ex have been divorced for a yr and a half now.... He has a new gf and I have a new bf....

My problem is this...My ex and me are friends on facebook and thats where i go to look at pics of my baby girl... well on this one pic of her there was a comment from his gf that said yes sir you better bring my daughter over... i emailed the girl and told her to back off that she was my daughter and that she has one mommy on the face of thsi earth and its me...they arent even married... well its just caused a whole bunch of probs. Ive made my mistakes and now im living with them... but i cant turn back time! well now shes rubbing it in face every chance she gets..she emails me and tells me that her and kaylynn had a good time at the zoo the park etc...it kills me! and ive tried talkin to him bout it but he doesnt find anything wrong with her saying these things...any advice? it kills me that she sees more of her than me!

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KaylynnsMommie2

Asked by KaylynnsMommie2 at 12:45 PM on Sep. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (523 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I see that you've said "I've made my mistakes", but is there an agreenment with the court as to how much visitation you get? Maybe you could request more visitation. That is WRONG of her to call your daughter her daughter. I don't care if they are married, that is not her mother.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:48 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • i would be mad to she is ur child not hers .and i wouldnt pay her any mind when she emails you and says those things .i know it hurts but just try your best and ignore her.can you see your lil girl more then you are now or try to get visitation back of her.good luck
    britme1027

    Answer by britme1027 at 12:51 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Sounds to me like she's just being a bitch and needs to grow up and be more mature about the situation. If I was in her situation, by NO means would I be doing the things you say she is doing. She sounds to be antagonizing things. In my opinion, if I were you, I would try my best to ignore the things she says bc letting them get to you is only letting her win. I feel for you that you are in this situation. I hope everything works out for you and YOUR daughter.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 12:52 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I get supervised visitations...every other saturday from noon to 3...i only see her for 6 hrs a month....It hurts sooo bad...I just want her too stop but she dont...and on facebook u know when the person your emailing has read the email...ive tried ignoring them but when she finds out i didnt read the msg she sends more and more till i read them.....im sick and tired of it! its making me depressed! and i cant do anything bout it now which kills me more!
    KaylynnsMommie2

    Comment by KaylynnsMommie2 (original poster) at 12:53 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Although none of us wants another woman to take away our "mommyhood", it sounds like this woman is at least doing some good things with your DD. From the sound of it, your DD doesn't live with you for some reason? Seems like you need to do some fun things with her as well. All children need good role models. Also, the harder you push the issue and make a big issue over it, the worse it will be. This is adult politics. Your DD should not suffer due to them. The adults in the situation need to be just that-ADULTS. Work together for the best interest of the child. Not the interest of your emotions.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 12:55 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Does she live with her dad more than she lives with you?
    When i was married with my ex, his children (my step children) called me mom & i called them my children. I never called them my step children. Their mom was actually happy that their dad found someone who loved them. You should try to look at the bright side. Would you rather your ex get with some chick who resents your daughter? I don't think so. Be glad that this woman loves your child & cares for he while she is over there. That is a good thing, no matter how jealous you get. I would try to be friends with her instead of making enemies. The message you sent her was inapropriate. I know it bothered you, but those messages make things more hard...not easier. Send her a message, let her know you're sorry & that you just miss your daughter when she is not with you. It's better for your DD if you all get along. Be the bigger person, don't act like a jealous child.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:57 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • You need to concentrate on getting things improved in your life so you can have more time w/ your daughter. Dont dwell on the past or whether or not your daughter is spending time w/ this other woman. Be grateful she has a stable home for now until you can provide her one again. It sounds like you both care deeply for this child and are both insecure about where you fit in your child's life. Rest assured, she knows YOU are her mommy. She is lucky to have 2 women who want to share that role. Cherish each & every second that you have with her and keep working on making more time happen. Good luck.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 1:00 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • jazzlikemraz-So, my DD married a man who has a DD. She has been in her life for 6 years now. So, you think it's wrong for her to call her her DD? Is it also wrong that I call her my granddaughter? She is fully aware who her bio-mother is. However, bio-mother just lost custody for being an unfit mother. I ask this because you said it didn't matter if they were married or not. I also call my step-mom my mom. She was a much better mommy influence in my life than my mother ever was.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 1:00 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Sounds like you both need to grow up and stop acting like ghetto trash, unless you want the little girl to grow up acting the same.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I'm sorry you only get to see your DD for 6 hours a month. But, if you only get visitation...then there is probably good reason for her to be living with her dad. It's very rare that they only give mothers such a small amount of visitation.

    Maybe you're looking at it all wrong. Maybe she is just trying to inform you of the things they do with her, but you take it as an attack. I could be wrong. You need to let her know how you feel in a friendly manner. If it bothers you, tell her. Say "It kills me when you message me & tell me everything you're doing with her. I miss her so much & you make it really hard on me when you message me these things" You don't have to be rude to her, or anything. Just let her know how you feel honestly without saying any harsh words. Again, it would only benefit your DD if y'all tried to be friends.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:02 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

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