Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can i be more supportive for my husband?

My husband has and still is a hard working man, He was laid off recently and we are going threw some very rough patches, But i find myself getting angry with him, I know he's trying hard but when my kids need something and we can't afford to get it i find myself being very cold to him, Please help me.

Answer Question
 
awesomemom1

Asked by awesomemom1 at 3:38 PM on Oct. 14, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Ride this out and try not to take it out on your husband. If he's doing everything in his power to find work, getting angry at him will only make the tension worse.
    goddessmonica

    Answer by goddessmonica at 3:43 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • At least you are aware of it so then you can stop yourself when you begin to feel that way. I would suggest that when you are feeling that cold feeling - break through it and walk up to him, hug him and tell him how much you love him. Help him find the confidence that he will find employment soon and that you are by his side through the good and the bad. Remember that you are a team and that the 2 of you will work through this together. You are his coach/cheer leader/biggest supporter. Also, imagine how it feels to be him and what a blow it was for him to be laid off. His self-esteem has to be at an all time low right now. You are his only support system. Love him and be strong for him. It's all you can do.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 3:45 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • Don't take it out on him. When that happened to my hubby he was so upset with himself because he knew he wasn't providing. No matter how upset I was I always hugged him and told him how proud I am of him and that I"m happy he's my hubby. In times of hardships you guys need to embrace, wrap your arms around eachother so you can't point an accusing finger at the other.
    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 3:53 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • Support him, respect him, submit to him. Make him feel like he is THE MAN and there is no one as awesome as he is. The more you encourage him and let him know you are on his side (that is SO important for him to know that you are not against him) then the easier it will be for him to take this hard burden and turn it into good. You are all in this together. It's so true that he (and same goes for our kids) will be what you tell him he is. If you are telling him he's a failure, or even sending these subtle messages that we as women do so easily with out even realizing it, then he is going to feel like a failure and he will fail. But if you tell him he's awesome and genuinely believe in him, he will be that MAN.

    called2bmom

    Answer by called2bmom at 5:06 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • another thought - rethink what your needs are. I think we are all having to do that these days. I don't know, maybe you need to re-define yours and your family's needs to be fed, clothed and sheltered. I have found when I realize the difference , or even simply prioritize "needs" it's not so frustrating when something doesn't get done or we can't afford something, because when it comes down to it, I don't need it to survive. Just a thought.
    called2bmom

    Answer by called2bmom at 5:06 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • When you find yourself getting angry at him just try to imagine, if the situation were reversed, how you would want him to treat you. Let's say that for some reason beyond your control you were unable to do the things you normally do for your family. Imagine how you would feel if you couldn't provide these things and imagine how you would like your husband to support you.
    I know it's not easy. My husband was laid off twice - we spent all our savings. Life is very stressful when money is tight, but a loving, understanding relationship makes anything easier.
    FlyMom07

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 5:43 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
how many?

Next question overall (Home & Garden)
ok weird question?

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN