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4 Bumps

She's smoking again..... :(

My mom has COPD in the moderate/severe category. She was hospitalized in February with a severe episode and was having o2 levels in the 70's! (normal is 95-100) I was talking to her the other day on the phone and heard that she was outside which I found odd. Today when I was over there I noticed she smelled like smoke and i put 2 and 2 together. I bitched her out and told her if she doesn't stop she'll be dead in a few yrs(she's 66) She just shrugged the notion off. Do you think I'm fighting a losing battle with her? I'm guessing if having to be on oxygen in order to live doesn't wise her up,nothing I say will.


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 3:46 PM on Sep. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I have seen this situation and it is very upsetting but nothing you say or do will make her quit. She may have already given up hope about living a long life. She may think if she is going to be sick and die she might as well enjoy her time left here. Smoking is a powerful addiction!! My boss jsut talked to me about this yesterday. His mom is on oxygen and will be hacking up a lung and then in the next breath she lights a cigarette. He said it is awful to watch someone do that to themselves but it is her choice. Sorry you are going thru this!!

    Answer by ria7 at 3:49 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • i am sorry about your mom but talk to her and tell her how you feel that is all you can do good luck

    Answer by shannonsmom555 at 3:48 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • A person will do what they want even if it's against their own health. She obviously knows what can happen and wants to do it. She is an adult and can make her own decisions.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 3:48 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I work for an oxygen company and she is violating her "no smoking" agreement! If that was our patient we would have her sign the agreement, then when we found her smoking again we would coach her on it and have her sign another one. We would post signs at her home and if she violated it again we would call the doctors office. We have respiratory therapists on hand who do this all the time. Call her oxygen company and have them speak to her about it. This is SERIOUS! We had a man blow him home up earlier this year and die because he wanted to smoke on his oxygen!

    Good luck!

    Answer by Memigen at 3:49 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I am truely sorry for your mom. But in all honesty there is nothing you can do,

    Instead of "bitching her out", try sitting down with her and be the loving daughter and tell her how you just care about her and don't want anything bad to happen that can be avoided..

    In the end, she is her own woman and she will do what she wants.

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 3:52 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I understand how upset you are.. But you have to remember how hard it is to quit... Yelling at her is not helping... Try to help her to her, come up with ways to help, like toostie pops, gum, what ever.. but a smoker who has smoked a long time, it is hard to quit...

    Answer by MzGeorgiaPeach at 3:51 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • My mom has been hospitalized numerous times from smoking and she is only 53 - I'm sorry, I know its hard to see and deal with but you can't MAKE someone change or see reality.. My mom has been my best friend since I was 12 but recently, I've stopped trying to talk to her about this - she knows how I feel and I can't worry myself about her anymore..she only gets mad and we bicker when I bring it up - she's knows she needs to quit but for many cruch reasons, she can't.. I just love her and let her know that everyday incase it happens to be my last day

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:57 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • "I'm guessing if having to be on oxygen in order to live doesn't wise her up,nothing I say will."


    Answer by justnancyb at 4:00 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • OP, I'm sorry about your mother. My dad has gone through the same thing for years with his mother (my granny). She has caused herself health problems too numerous to cover, ending in the amputation of one of her legs because the blood vessels were so constricted that the blood couldn't circulate anymore...and she still smokes. My dad said screw it, if losing one of her legs and being confined to a wheelchair hasn't been enough to make her quit, there's nothing that any of us can say or do. Unfortunately, some people just seem hellbent on carrying on with a self-destructive behavior. It may be the case with your mom, and I know that's a tough pill to swallow, but she's an adult and if she's decided she wants to smoke come hell or high water, then she will. :( I hope she'll wise up and quit, for her sake and yours.

    Answer by vicesix at 4:05 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • My grandmother is in the same boat but guess what ? She is a big girl and so is your Mom. I am sorry to say this but if she doesn't care enough about herself to quit you need to show her tough love. Stop going around as much stop calling as much . When she ask you why you haven't been around tell her you are just preparing yourself for what it's going to be like when she's dead. I know that might sound mean but tough love works.

    Answer by Nikup at 4:48 PM on Sep. 8, 2010