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3 Bumps

Her child needs help and it is like they do not see it ...

My 63 y/o MIL is raising BIL's 8 year old son ( they got custody because his mom was on drugs - he was born addicted is oxy. and then MIL adopted him ) . He is spoiled rotten & lazy, but it is very obvious that there is more to it. He has the mindset of a 4 year old, he isnt potty trained ( holds it all day at school and will poop on the bus, or will poop his pants all day when he is home ), He didnt even start talking where you could understand him until about a eyar ago ( when he was 6-7 ) , throws HUGE tantrums over EVERYTHING.

EVERYONE ( but me and some people on my side of family and friends) thinks he is fine, MIL talks about how smart he is and praises him... I KNOW something is mentally wrong with him but no one will listen. What can I do.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Sep. 8, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (18)
  • Call CPS and alert them to the situation and let them know he needs a mental competency screening. You can do it anonymously.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 3:58 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • how do you now something isnt mentally wrong with him? You're not raising him, you're not taking him to the doctors.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:58 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • @mommy of 2...He is 8 and poops his pants and just talked where you can understand him...Yeah, I'd say he needs some kind of help/therapy.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 4:00 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Well given the fact he was born addicted to drugs, there is a def. chance something is wrong with him mentally, the only way to know for sure is to get him to the doctors,,,

    At 8 years old if he is pooping himself, it makes me wonder if he was ever taught as a toddler...Have you ever tried personally taking some time and trying to help him and teach him anything? Have you talked to your MIL about any of this?
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 4:05 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Oxy is a powerful drug that could really mess up a growing fetus.... I would call CPS I guess and alert him.... have you tried discussing it with his gaurdian and just seeing if she would humor you and get him checked? Or maybe talking to a school counsler.... I dunno that is a tough bind.... GL and keep us updated
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 4:08 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • If you really think there is something wrong I would try and talk to the school. You will have no way of getting answers from them because of confidentiality laws, although they might be able to help.

    you culd also voice your concerns to your MIL and see what she says. Sometimes when you are really close to a situation it is hard to step back and see the big picture. I would try to talk though and not be judgemental about things. Also, listen to what she has to say and try to give advice while being understanding.

    Good Luck with everything!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 4:09 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • If he's going to school, I would think they would see something and talk to the MIL?
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 4:10 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • It sounds like he could be on the autism spectrum. If you are seriously concerned for his health and well-being, you should definitely contact CPS.
    arouthier

    Answer by arouthier at 4:22 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I agreee with everyone else, if you have already voiced how you feel about your nephew and no one is listeningthen call CPS and tell them what your fears are and what you have seen. Untreated Autisim is so bad, if that is what he has which is what it sounds like.
    whoreallycares

    Answer by whoreallycares at 5:41 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • I would start with the school if MIL is not approachable. Chances are they are noticing problems, too. If you know the name of his doctor you can also talk to the doctor, they might not be able to impart information, but they can listen.
    dance45133

    Answer by dance45133 at 12:50 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

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