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Jealous of my SO's sisters baby?(beware: contains topics not everyone can handle) adult content

I haven't felt this jealous in a long time. Of anyone. My boyfriend and I became pregnant, and he wanted me to get an abortion because we already have one, we are not ready financially, and it is just not the right time. were struggling bad enough. I didn't want to have the abortion, but logically it was for the best. His sister is pregnant, with a boy, and he is super excited about it. He is always telling his sister he loves her, and he's so excited, bla bla...yet he wasn't happy about his own baby? It makes me think he ould love his nephew more than his own, and it makes me think if we ever do have kids, he won't really care about them. it makes me super angry, and jealous out of my mind. Is this normal? Should I be feeling this way...even though it was ultimatley my choice, I am angry about it now! and super jealous of his dumb sisters baby! If he didn't want our own baby, he should not give a flyin duck about his sister's

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Sep. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I think more than anything, maybe its a bit of guilt from the abortion coming out ?? that was in no way a bash either..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:47 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • well you shouldnt wish that he wouldnt care about his sisters baby, because that is his neice and its not her fault. maybe he cares so much about her baby because he is also not very happy that you both werent in the situation to have your own baby. in a way, hes loving her baby in place of yours for now. i can competley understand why you would feel jealous though. only you know your SO's true colors though, so maybe you need to think - was it really in the best interest of you two that he wanted you to not have a baby at the time, but when the time is right he will love you baby just as much or is he not the kind of man you want to have children with? this choice is yours too.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 5:49 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I agree that it must be part of the guilt of the abortion coming out
    BradensMom1026

    Answer by BradensMom1026 at 6:12 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • i think both your feelings and his may be guilt....just how you both deal with those feelings differently....I get pangs of jealousy sometimes of people close to me having babies because i know i can't...i made a decision long ago not to have any more...and i know if I did have more children, they would have disabilities like the three children I have....because it's genetic....but I cope with it....and I'm happy and grateful for what i have....I just more or less wanted you to know that somebody can empathize.
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 6:33 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I agree with the other ladies. I think you are feeling like it was really his fault you got the abortion besides other circumstances. I think that you probably would not have felt this way if it wasn't for the situation with his sister. I don't know but I might not be able to forgive him and it would be hard to forget the anger towards him, even though it was ultimately your decision. I would re-evaluate your relationship with him as this may have lasting effects for you. I feel bad for you, I really do & I understand how you feel towards him. He may not be the guy for you. Good luck & be strong. What is done is done, now look towards making your future happy, with or without him.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 7:09 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Makes perfect sense to me. He didn't want the trouble of raising his own child and now he's lavishing attention on his sister's child while completely ignoring your feelings...which I suspect you haven't even told him. Your hurt, that much is clear. The idea of another woman, especially close kin, carrying a child when you could not would hurt anyone. I'm betting that you are also angry at yourself and using him as a target, and angry at him as well, but he's getting a double dose. But seriously consider some therapy for yourself. This relationship is doomed if you don't find a way to solve your anger and resentment now. It will crop up later if you try to sweep under the rug. Talk to him, talk to others who have had abortions....do what you can to talk this out. Don't keep it in, let it out.

    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 7:33 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Have you ever talked to him about your feelings??

    Maybe that would help both of you through this difficult time.
    JaycesMommy

    Answer by JaycesMommy at 8:13 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I understand, I also understand that you probably understand that rationally it isn't the babies fault but your SO's and yes I'd be furious if I was in your shoes and I think you need to voice your anger at the person who its deserved, him.. and also abortion is a hard thing and it wouldn't be a bad idea to get some counseling to help you deal with your loss, good luck.
    rhonda111787

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 9:37 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

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