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4 Bumps

1 st grade Home Work : Is it really worth the fight? (ASD child)

SO I spent 1 1/2 this afternoon fighting with my 6 year old Asperger's child about homework. Well, he was fighting I was sticking to my guns. After a few request for him to start and me offering everything I knew to help I told him 'Fine DO your homework or don't BUT keep in mind-No TV, video games or Kidzlife(wed night church) until it's done AND if you choose not to you will have to explain to your teacher why it isn't done' This resulted in a total melt-down (as opposed to the partial melt down we were already having) After 1 1/2 a of screaming he sat down to dinner then FINALLY calmly did his ONE SENTENCE he had to write. Tomorrow home work is TEN sentences. I have already warned him and he has already started to get 'fussy' about it. I can't fight with him like this EVERYDAY. I know I can have his IEP adjusted to help with homework but really I don't know what to do here. I am literally dreading tomorrow!! con't


Asked by But_Mommie at 7:21 PM on Sep. 8, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (11)
  • Oh mom....I am sorry...I know where you are coming from. My dd is mildly aspergers. When you ask her to write her name...she freaks out...even though she does fairly well.

    I would talk to his teacher...maybe the special ed teacher as well....they might have some ideas on how to motivate him according to his issues that slow him down with homework.

    Not saying he doesnt have to do it...but just maybe a different approach. What about a tutor....would he act out with a "
    stranger" less or the same as you....just an idea.

    Every child is different....that one may not work for him,

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 7:28 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • If he refuses to do it, then he gets a poor grade or whatever other consequence the teacher chooses to impose. And if you don't want to encourage the idea that it's ok to refuse to do required work, you'll also impose consequences at home. That's how he'll learn how to do what he needs to do in order to be successful in school.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 7:28 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • My almost 9 year old is the EXACT same way.......he is not in 3rd grade (he also is an Aspie child). Last year he had to write 12 words 5 times took 3 hours and lots of yelling, crying and fighting. Finally I got creative about it and made it a game. I would time him sometimes to see if he could beat the clock, other times I would make up a song about the word and I would sing it till he was done writing it.......his Learning support teacher told me to make sure that he does it as soon as he gets home that way he is still in the "school" frame of mind. Also to have a quiet place for him to work and to make sure that it gets done at the same time every day (routine). She also said to try to make it fun, after I started being "creative" it took him 15 minutes!! Just try not to lose your patience ~ I know that is hard to do~ see what works best for him. Good luck

    Answer by colethky at 7:39 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I think what you are doing - letting him know the consequences of his action ahead of time is good.
    How does he do with rewards like stickers and stuff? Is there some type of chart you can keep where he can see his progress? For example, he completes his HW without a meltdown - he gets a smiley face sticker. He completes it WITH a meltdown, he gets a thumbs down sticker. He DOES NOT complete his HW (regardless of meltdown or not) a smiley face is taken away.
    At the end of the week - if he has XX number of smiley faces, he gets XX. If he has XX number of thumbs down, he gets something taken away.
    Is that too much? LOL
    I don't have an aspie child, so I'm just throwing out ideas.
    Good luck!

    Answer by ARmom at 7:58 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • what if he refuses to do it? DO I just send in a note? If I had to hear him scream and kick for and hour and a half over one sentence I am terrified about 10!!

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 7:22 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Oh, He does have consequences for not doing it. Like no life. lol. I just can't literally FORCE him to write. So it's not a free do it or don't for sure!

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 7:30 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • We had been using video game time as a reward. Finish in 10 min get 30 min of play finish in 20 min get 20 min of play finish in 30 min get 10 min of play longer than 30 min no games. We couldn't do that today because of Kidzlife. Wed. Is the easiest day! Wed is just read a story and write a text to self sentence. I though he would fly through it but it does involve writing which is, well.... yeah.

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 8:02 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • GL momma, hope you find your groove.

    Answer by QandA at 9:18 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Hang in there. Reading your story lets me know I am not alone. Thanks for sharing.

    Answer by tiggermom803 at 2:17 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • exactly what alice said.

    Answer by jinxandjoy at 9:03 AM on Sep. 10, 2010