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My boyfriend's teenage brother treats me like an evil stepmom! What do I do?

I'm living with my 28 yr old boyfriend and we are very happy. His little brother (17 yrs) recently decided to move in with us to go to college here next year. Neither of us were opposed because we figured it would be like having a roommate since he is almost an adult. I think living with us is causing him to view my bf and I as parent figures. He is VERY jealous of me. He gives me attitude and acts immaturely. He expects me to clean and cook for him as if I was his mom. I always brush things off and try to let it go, but he constantly criticizes my cooking and my way of doing things because it is not the way his mom does things. But I am not his mom- or stepmom for that matter! It was his CHOICE to come here! I don't know what to do or how to deal with him. Help!

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mely182

Asked by mely182 at 9:02 PM on Sep. 8, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • treat him like a evil red headed step child..... lol
    pinkdena

    Answer by pinkdena at 9:03 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Send him back to mom for a little wake up call. I would tell my s/o he is out! Unless he acts more grown up.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:04 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Tell little brother, go back to mom if he misses her cooking, stop cooking all together. Tell bf, he has to set little bro straight on being a roommate and not parents/kids.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 9:11 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Tell him if he wants a maid - to hire one. Work on a kitchen schedule - one where he's got to cook once a week. Give him a pay schedule for you doing his laundry ,etc. and if necessary start a running tab to be paid ASAP.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:28 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I would just stop feeding him. You can cook to feed you and your SO but I wouldn't do anything for him. Tell him that if he doesn't appreciate then it will not be done for him. He is an adult and needs to act like one. Unfortunately most people don't' start acting like an adult until around the age of 21 some sooner some later. I have some really harsh things that I did to roommates to get my point across. If you want some suggestions on specific things just send me a message.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 10:42 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • For starters, you need to remind him that you are not his mother. If he wants someone to cook and clean up after him he needs to go home to his mother. If he doesn't, the only alternative is to give him a few rules to live by if he wants to stay there.

    1) He can clean up after himself.
    2) he can fix his own food
    3) Your boyfriend needs to back you up on the rules, NO EXCEPTIONS!

    I hope things work out. Oh and I almost forgot, if he doesn't like what you do, then tell him to do it himself.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:41 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Your BF and you need to sit down with the brother and go over the "common rules of roommates." Treat it like you would any other adult roommate moving in. Then tell him that if he can't follow the expectations, he can go home to mommy.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 11:22 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • I'd treat him like a room mate and tell him to do it himself. If he keeps up the verbal crap I'd tell him I'm not his mom and if he likes mommy's way so much then to return home. I'd tell him it's my home and I do it my way but for him to feel free to do it mom's way when he does it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:37 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • I would actually have your boyfriend handle telling him to stop or at do it together. Sometimes if it comes from you, he could flip out and then try to put a wedge in between you two. But you reall need to be sure it stops. It will only get worse and you more mad.
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 5:14 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • I would call a family meeting and as calmly as you have here, talk about these things with both of them; have examples ready to share, and a gameplan in mind. (men like that stuff)


    Phrase it all under the idea that now that he is living with you, you want the house to be as harmonious and pleasant for all three of you...and that takes combined effort and willful teamwork. Again, put it in malespeak, lol. Give them something to do.

    Radarma

    Answer by Radarma at 1:30 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

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