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husband says i should do everything since i staya t home

i work at home also. i run a childcare which consist of a 9month old up to three 3yr olds a 2yr old and my kids that are 5months and 8.i usually have all these children until 6pm sometimes later mon-fri. my house is pretty clean since i have to keep it that way.he doesn't get that taking care of all these kids and 2 babies is work!! he gets mad if i want to go to bed at 10 cause "i didn't work all day" and its "my job" to clean, cook and take care of the kids while he comes home and plays on the comp or watches tv. im tired and would like some help with at least OUR baby but he holds her until she wines or needs a diaper changed and then its back to me again. im about to either give up on doing childcare or have a mental do i show him how hard i do work?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on Oct. 14, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • if you are JUST a sahm i think its your responsibility but you said you run an at home daycare, that IS YOUR JOB!!! you make money with it dont u??!! it should be equal then. show him the money yo make from it as proof!

    Answer by KelsoBabeyy at 7:43 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I think if you're own kids are stressing you in the evening, then you need to give up other peoples kids during the day so you can have the calm mental ability to deal with your own.

    Answer by EireLass at 7:45 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • i enjoy my job just want some understanding from him that its not easy and i also need free time. his idea of my free time is when hes at work

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • mine is the same way...but I'm just a sahm, so yeah it is my job...but I kinda know how you feel, coz we're suposed to help eachother...sure he shouldn't have to come home and clean the whole house that's my job...but if I'm trying to do something and the baby needs attention...he should help...
    anyway talk to him seriously, lay out everything you do throughout the day...that's what I would do...

    good luck

    Answer by Allikats-momma at 7:55 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • could write him a letter stating every single thing you do all day when you have all the kids, invite him to stay home one day so he can see everything you do, put a video camera on the main room in the house where the kids are and let him watch the tape to see what you have to deal with, write him a list of of professionals and the cost of each that he would have to hire to replace what you do (ex. cook, maid, plumber, landscaper, etc.), refuse to do anything around the house for a week. Whatever you do you need to make it good because your husband needs a serious wake up call. Good luck sweetie!

    Answer by vnw1405 at 7:56 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • if only he could do your job for a day!!!!! Its not easy taking care of kids and trying to keep the house clean!!!! do you do certain chores on certain days???? do you figure out your meals the day before???? do you have a regular schedule like feeding times, nap times, activity/play times????? try to take a nap when there napping sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt......I feel for you I was going through the same thing and not even getting paid for it and if I was I was spending the money on the kids like food and diapers and transportion!!! I had to stop because I wasnt getting paid enough it's definately not easy and I dont think your husbands going to help but maybe he will one day understand it's not easy!!!

    Answer by tatalalicious at 7:56 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • he needs to expierence it himself. I went on a woman's retreat for a couple of nights, and when I came back, he say's, I'm so glad I have a job to go to, I have been on my feet constantly! He was tired and he saw at a small scale what I do. Can You tell him you need a little "mommy time" and get away for a night or so? Or can he watch your kid's while you go on a day trip with a friend? Being at home is a full time job! He does not realize all you do. He comes home and things are pretty much in order. He needs to put in his share, it is part of being there for another.

    Answer by Momofcinco at 8:04 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I am JUST a SAHM but Its hard work. In fact today I made a rules chart and chore chart for all of us. I am 29 weeks pregnant and have a almost three year old DD. My husband works and works hard but is it so much to ask for him to put his own dirty clothes in the laundry room? Or that he help with our duaghter? I dont ask him to cook or clean but I did not make these babies by my self and should not have to take care of them alone. You need to lay down the law. tell him how it is and dont let him walk all over you. He is being a real ass.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • have him miss a day at work and leave him to do it one day. just stand there and watch so that he doesn't hurt any of them but say you have to pretend i'm not here and to the kids. say he is in charge.

    Answer by melody77 at 8:15 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • hes had to stay at home when our baby was about 2wks old cause i got strep and he said he couldn't wait to go back and that was when she slept all day! yes i have to cook ALL meals and snacks for the children do the dishes up to 3 times a day plus do normal things that need done. if one baby cries usually the other does. and he comes home for lunch which i faithfully have done for him and usually dinner is done by 6:30pm. I think i deserve some time alone and help when hes home

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

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