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4 Bumps

... I am the other woman...

I just found out that the man I have been dating for almost a year, the man that is living with me, the man that has been acting like a father figure in my childrens lives.... is married....

I honestly never knew anything about her, but apparently she has found out about me and sent me and email telling me to leave her family alone....

I feel so ashamed and so guilty, I honestly would have never been with him if I knew... I feel bad for her, and now she is sending me all kind of hateful messages, I told her that I am sorry and i will no longer have anything to do with him..but she will not quit

What can I do, not only am I SO sorry, and am heartbroken too....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Sep. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • Break off all contact with him and change your phone number and email address.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 10:51 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • just don't reply to her. god u must be so hurt.dont feel bad, u didn know but good luck.

    Answer by otoole at 10:52 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • sounds to me like you both should meet and confront him...that sounds like a bad situation

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 10:54 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Shame on him. You poor thing. If you said your sorry, do not talk to her anymore. Nothing you can say or do can change anything. "HUGS"

    Answer by sta517 at 10:55 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I'm so sorry. Don't talk to him anymore or reply to her. I have been there and I know how hard it can be. The guy I was seeing didn't tell me he was married, a friend told me. I cut him off and it sucked.
    Hang in there hun, it will get easier.

    Answer by PoisonousBlonde at 10:55 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Wow, sounds like he needs to clean house. What does he have to say? You need to ensure the "wife" does not terrorize you or your kids. Stay safe.
    You were unaware so make your decisions and don't beat yourself up. Good luck.

    Answer by tortkey at 10:55 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • If he is LIVING with you, then it sounds to me like they are seperated. I would ASK him what the hell is going on. She may just be a bitter ex

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 11:02 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Oh man I feel bad for u and your kids. Just have nothing else to do with him

    Answer by mamaofficer at 11:05 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • They must be going through a divorce? Separated? Have you asked him what's going on? She may just be trying to "ruin a good thing" for him. Did you suspect at all that he was seeing anybody else? I would talk to him about it before you break it off. She may be a nut job.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:19 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • You need to either block her email address or change yours altogether. You also need to sit down with your SO and confront him about this. Like a PP said, if he is living with you then that must mean they are separated (I would hope). Either way, it's still not cool that he didn't tell you he was still married. I personally would confront him and then walk away.

    Answer by Journey311 at 11:20 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

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