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6 Bumps

Once again, I am so confused

Ok so I am a stay at home mother. I have a almost 3 yr old son and a 10 yr old stepdaughter. I feel as though my husband NEVER makes time for our son. EVERYTHING he does is for his daughter . We have her every other day and every other weekend. He gets mad when my son wont go to him , however its because he doesnt really know him all that well. Does that make sense? I love his daughter and do just as much for her as I do for our son but its not appreciated. Also her mother is NOT so nice to me and its getting old.. Does ANYONE else have to deal with this? What do I do?

Answer Question
 
nat1981

Asked by nat1981 at 11:29 PM on Sep. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (8 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • our son is only one year old and our dd is 4 and my dh spends more time with her rather than the baby....i think that part of it is b/c she's older but the other is b/c she's daddy's little girl and he cherishes his time with her...like our son is really clingy to me...idk if that is anything like what is going on with you and your dh but i hope it gets better...for your son's sake GL
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 11:35 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Does that bother you at all? I am not sure but why but it annoys me.. I wish our son had a chance
    nat1981

    Comment by nat1981 (original poster) at 11:37 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • It could be because she is older i have noticed with the dads that they pay alot more attention to the kids when the get older and less fagile.
    K3lly94

    Answer by K3lly94 at 11:54 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • Sounds like favoratism to me. It sounds like your son knows that he spends more time with his daughter than him. That should tell him something. Have you thought of a family night? He could also spend some one on one time with his son. As for your stepdaughters mother, she needs to keep her nose out of your business. She may be telling him that you spend more time with your son than her daughter. That would be a plausible reason to why your stepdaughter is getting the attention.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:07 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • How about plain old fashioned guilt on his part? Surely he hates that she has to deal with constantly being shuffled back and forth, as he obviously loves her very much. Would you seriously WANT a man who didn't? Your DS's behavior is perfectly normal at his age. He spends all of his time with you, and it obviously hurts your DH's feelings because your DH doesn't realize that this is normal. He will grow out of it and your DH will have to step up to the plate.You say the extra mile you go for your SD is "not appreciated." Whose recognition are you seeking? Your SD is the only one whose appreciation matters and she likely isn't mature enough, but she will be eventually. I have walked in her shoes and it's not fun to be the pawn in a war of 2 parents. You CHOSE to marry a man who already had a child. Be the bigger person here and don't begrudge her the love and support that she needs, especially if her Mom is unhealthy.
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 7:14 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • IDK... in my family, I am the youngest of 8 children.. 5 boys and 3 girls. Now that we are all well into adulthood I doubt things will change from here on out. My dad is close to the 3 girls and and my mom is close to the 5 boys. I don't know if it's universal but in our family we're a bunch of daddy's girls and mama's boys

    FeelinYummy

    Answer by FeelinYummy at 10:12 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

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