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2 Bumps

How to deal with an overbearing neighbor?

My neighbor seems nice but she is the type who doesnt seem to understand boundaries.She stops by at least 2-3 times a day(today was 4) and asks things like "can I get a smoke/a soda/aspirin/tampons" and now even her 17 yr old daughter has started to do this. We can be int he middle of dinner and when I answer the door she will just come right in past me and not seem to notice?
The latest issue is she has started putting her garbage out with ours, without asking. I have spoken to her int he past about possibly sharing the service and she gives me the batting eyes, and "well I only did it once or twice..."very manipulative. I plan on speaking to her about this, but not sure how to bring it up.
and yes, maybe she is lonely,needs a friend, but so far how she acts isn't anything I want in a friend-its all take. suggestions?


Asked by Bearsjen at 12:32 AM on Sep. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,279 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Do not answer the door when she comes over. Screen your phone calls. You keep your door locked. She will get the message, my neighbor did! If she does not speak to you anymore, what loss is it of yours? You are better off without people like that anyway. Good luck.

    Answer by AdrianaS at 2:39 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • You could try to scare her away. Keep a cow heart in the fridge, answer the door with it your hand, and say "Perfect! We needed one more for the ritual. Are you comfortable with knives and blood?" LOL You know I'm kidding. Be polite but tell her she needs to keep the visits to one aday unless there is an emergency and you will invite her in if you are not in the middle of something. I know it's easier to offer the advise than to be the one to dish it out. I hope everything works out for you! GL

    Answer by babyboyzz at 12:51 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Oh crap I have had neigbors like that I think you might have to just cut ties like I did she probably wont acknowledge boundries :)

    Answer by chica1965 at 12:36 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • I would lock your door for sure. If she comes to the door, meet her at the door then just say, " I am sorry, but as much as i would like to remain friends, you really need to knock and wait till i come to the door. I might be laying down" or something in that order. She does not have the right to just walk in unless you have really said the " come in anytime". Its called being curtious to to others. Then put a limit on what she is asking for all the time. Its really up to you to say yes or no on your things. It could help.

    Answer by Airforce3mom at 12:37 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • This brings back memories of my very first apartment with my then husband...first she would come over using the phone and leave then she would come use the phone and hang out like we were best besties
    Then one night ( I worked from 5 to 9 pm) I came home and my then husband says that woman came over saying I was screwing her bf..I hightailed myself over there pissed/mad as hell telling her who the hell is her bf and I want to meet the guy I'm having sex with..turns out this guy was covered in cig burns from this woman..she was beating this guy and he was staying for the kids!
    I never answered my door again after that without asking who it was on the other side.

    Answer by togo90210 at 12:44 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • I lived with my aunt when I was 18 and her neighbors were like this. A family of 7 that we nick named "The Borrowers". They would come by several times a day to borrow something, use the phone (bc theirs was always turned off), try to get you to baby sit... the requests were endless. My kind aunt always allowed this, but my adult cousin and I would not answer the door even when we could see them through the screen or say "No" before they even asked for something. Yeh... kinda snotty, but they got the point and would not come around when my aunt wasn't there.

    You TEACH people how to treat you. You have allowed this person to walk all over you. You need to work on saying NO. Over and over and not feeling bad about out it or feeling like you have to explain. Do you have tampons? No. Milk? No. (you don't need to explain, not her business). And keep your door locked, don't answer the door during dinner.

    Answer by Niki_sd at 12:50 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • lock doors, screen calls. This is protocall. We all need to if we haven't yet.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • any time she ask for something just say you don't have it eventually she find a new neighbor to borrow from, move her trash back to her yard if you can then maybe she'll get the hint

    Answer by mom2eas at 2:42 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Yes I have a neighbor who does this. She and her DD live with her mom and dad and she comes over and asks for pretty much anything. I hate to say no and so does my Dh. I dont always answer my door. I just think to myself if I was really busy or didnt hear the door than she would be out of luck. She never says anything, she just skips that question and comes back days later with another question.

    Answer by Seterah1010 at 4:19 AM on Sep. 9, 2010