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How do we get to the next step?

My fiance and I didnt have the best beginning to our lives. We had a wonderful relationship to start, we got engaged, had a surprise pregnancy (almost lost the baby), searched for a place of our own, he lost his job, had a second surprise pregnancy, I lost a few jobs and we accrued $15,000 in debt between the 2 of us. All of this while living seperatly in each of our parents homes. Now we are stuck in a rut and we cant seem to find a way out.

I am open to any and all advice. Thank you!

Answer Question

Asked by jmsst44 at 12:43 AM on Sep. 9, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 6 (105 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • first off my advice to you ... dave ramsey if you really want to get out of debt he is pretty awesome and showing you how to and do it quickly. Second just keep trying and pay what you can to get it paid... always pay a little more then you owe ...

    Answer by my3boys0710 at 12:50 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • We would love to do that but we cant even pay the minimums on every bills. Most bills we pay everyother month so we are NEVER even caught up. Always being behind is defeating.

    Comment by jmsst44 (original poster) at 12:52 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • I agree with my3boys, I would try Dave Ramsey. Start by checking out his book, My total Money Makeover at your local library. You can also listen to the archives at And there is a Dave Ramsey Fans group on cafemom if you want to join.

    I'd start with a prioritized budget first. Food, rent (if applicable), utilities, fuel, insurance, then secured debt (cars), student loan debt (since they can garnish your wages and attach liens without suing you first) then unsecured debt like credit cards, and then entertainment and eating out, cable things like that.

    When you get paid and when your SO does start your way down that list. Pay as much as you can. If you can't pay some of the debt don't worry about it. The worst they can do is sue you and then garnish your wages. But for most of them it will take you 6 months to a year of not paying before they sue you.


    Answer by Erica_Smerica at 1:51 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Do you have private health or state? Make sure the kids are on state.
    What bills are priority? Credit cards are working with the consumer right now, you can call and ask to freeze the card and pay a little every month, some as low as $20! Than you can put the $$ to the big bills.
    Are you still living seperate? Can you afford a 1 bedroom or loft? Or can't someones parents let a family live together?!
    If you can live together I suggest selling off a car, keep 1 for the family, use the bus if you need.

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 1:54 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • In the meantime your SO can look for a better paying job- even two or three jobs. You can have a garage sale start cleaning houses, delivering pizzas, cutting lawns, babysitting kids, walking dogs and throwing newspapers.

    Once you have your necessities covered (food, rent etc.) then you can start piling away money to settle with your creditors. Maybe 50 cents on the dollar depending on how long it's been since you've paid them. So that $15,000 in debt suddenly looks more like $7500- which is totally doable in a year even with an extra part time job.

    In the meantime they will probably call and harass you. They may threaten you with prison, say they'll take your kids away... all of which is a lie. Harassment from a collector is illegal. Make sure you find out what they can and can't legally do in your state. Don't let them upset you. Remember you have the money (or you will soon) so you set the terms not them.


    Answer by Erica_Smerica at 1:55 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • First of all, I'm truly sorry for all that you're going through. My DH was laid off last year, and he is only making half of what he used to make. I totally understand what you're going through. Congrats on your two little ones, what a blessing!! I also wanted to let you know that I work from home. I'm not sure if you'd be interested in working from home (even part time) to try to make some additional money to pay off your debt. I'd love to try to help you. I am a stay at home Mommy to my 3 year old son, and 18 month old daughter. I work with a great team of Moms; we help each other create income from home. No parties, No inventory! Weekly pay! Free website, training, and unlimited support!!
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    Answer by mommy2joeynabby at 3:52 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Dave Ramsey is a great place to start. If you are really in over your heads, look into debt consolidation. Your credit will take a hit, but if you are already behind it's not going to get much worse. What they do is negotiate down your unsecured (credit card) debt, and then give you a loan to pay off the lower balance. The BBB has ratings on most of these types of companies, search around and talk to them. Good luck.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:42 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • I know it's hard to start a plan like Dave Ramsey's but it's really the best. Your fiance may need to get a second job to make ends meet and to catch up on bills you're behind on. It's easy to make excuses, but you have to get to a point where you are caught up - and that may require extra jobs for a while. We did it - I know.

    Create a monthly budget that you follow very well spending every dime that comes in for the month on paper. Do your best to meal plan and cook from scratch to lower your grocery budget. Reduce cable, internet, and cell phone plans. Sell overly expensive cars - take out a loan for what you're upside down - and buy a cheapo car until you can catch up.

    We started Dave Ramsey's plan making under $40,000 a year with a mortgage and a baby. We were able to pay off $34,000 in debt in 2 years. Our income went up during that time because we were working EXTREMELY hard.

    I really look into it

    Answer by Melissa823 at 11:31 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Seek debt consoldation from a local BBB approved business. Talk to your creditors about lowering your interest rates. Paying your bills every other month is a sure way to ruin your credit. Again talk to your creditors about making lower monthly payments then stick to it.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 12:38 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

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