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My husband expects so much!!!! HELP!

my husband and I have been married since may 31st. When my son was born he was so good about wanting to do stuff for him and he works sometimes 10-12 hr days 4 days a week. Right now he hurt his knee and sits down at work all day. When I ask him to do the littlest thing for him he freaks out and says he works and he doesnt get a break. I know he works but he gets away from our son. what can I do or what should I do?

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jaevenmomma

Asked by jaevenmomma at 11:42 PM on Jun. 30, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • You and he really need a serious talk. Let me tell you, I spent the first 11 months of my son's life being a stay-at-home Mom. I then went back to work full-time. Working full-time is downright easy compared to being a SAHM. You ARE doing a full-time job yourself that's alot harder than whatever your husband is doing. He needs to step up and take over some of the baby's care. At the very least you need to get out of the house by yourself or with a friend for dinner or coffee one night a week so that you can get a break. If your husband can't or won't understand this, it's time for counseling. If he won't go with you, go on your own. Good luck!
    Wywismom

    Answer by Wywismom at 11:57 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • It sounds like you need to give him a little dose of what it is like to take care of the child all by himself. Schedule an appointment that you can't get out of or tell him you are taking a girls day and he needs to look after the baby. I just went out of town for a night and my husband has a whole new respect for what I do. They all need to learn hands on sometimes. good luck
    dndfsmom

    Answer by dndfsmom at 12:32 AM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • Well tell him just because he works a full time job like every one else in the world does not mean he does not have to help with the baby or around the house you may not get the paycheck but you still have a 24 hour job not an 8 or 12 hour job he gets a break from his job you don't also the work at home should be equal I feel very strongly on this My husband has certain chores that are just his only pluss he cooks for me at times.Pluss tell him this if you were not with him he would ahve to work full time and cook clean and take care of the baby so he should thank god he has you in the first place.and if all your asking is for a little help here and there well I don't think that makes you a bad person.Hope things get better
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • my husband works in the hot florida sun every day and I truly think I have it way easier being inside the ac'd house with the kids (but catch myself saying otherwise) (every person thinks they got it worse than the next) But I understand where you are coming from, it can be frustrating thinking that we have it way harder than they do, but when you said your husband had hurt his knee, makes me think that he isn't dealing with things very well at the present time. Sounds like he is frustrated and may be taking that out on you. Maybe try sitting down with him and seeing if he will talk with you deeper about what is really going on with him. Most times than not it is the deeper issues that really cause the hiccups in our marriages... men don't always communicate what they really want us to know and that can really cause huge issues...
    BreakingFree

    Answer by BreakingFree at 8:09 AM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • I know how you feel, i get so aggravated with my SO about this too, he always says how easy it is to stay home and take care of the baby and blah blah blah, but then when we are going to go out to the store i said i'm taking the dog for a walk and he freaks out saying well you have to pack the diaper bag, i said "no you can do it, your not doing anything" and he snaps at me and says i'm holding the baby, it's like what do you think i do during the week, i walk the dog while pushing the stroller, pack the diaper bag with one hand, i mean he says how easy i have it, but yet when i ask him to do the simplest thing he can't handle it.
    Rachel1786

    Answer by Rachel1786 at 9:23 AM on Jul. 1, 2008

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