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should I give in?? ((LONG))

Alright I have been having some problems with my mil, she feels she knows everything there is to know about raising kids and tries to tell me how to raise my son... not just helpful tips, she tells me how to do EVERYTHING!!! well yesterday, she was over and my husband was tossing our son in the air, except he wasnt letting go of him.. well she began telling my husband to stop, over and over and over again saying he was going to drop him and it wasnt safe.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Oct. 14, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I would apologize for making her upset. BUT there has to be something underlying that. Is she going through menopause?
    Also, you might tell her that tossing children up in the air is age old and has been linked to proper inner ear development in children.
    (Dropping them has also been known to cause brain damage so don't do that.) :)
    However, I go back to my original thought...there is something more going on. If she is going through menopause it may make her feel as though she has to "mother" again.
    Be patient with her and yourself this is hard on both of you.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 11:43 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • CONT.... I cant stand the fact that she does this. so i told her, he is fine he would never hurt him.. and she starts yelling at me saying i know but i am his grandma and i worry, so i snapped back {i know i shouldnt have but she wasnt listening} saying yeah well i am his mom. we both dropped it, and i guess when she went home last night she cried and had a rough night because of it... idk what to do now. i dont feel i should have to apologize, but i dont want this to hang over our head.. i mean she is my mil and my sons grandma. she tries to tell me ALL the time ever since he was born how to do things. and when i talk to my husband about it, he just tells me that, that is how she is... so do i ignore her advice and brush it off, or do i continue to stand up to her??

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:05 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I'd apologize for yelling but still explain that you stand by what you said.

    stand up to her when reasonable, let it slide if it's something dumb that she's telling you how to do. Like stand up to her when she tells you how hubby should play with his son, let it slide if she tells you how to wash your dishes.

    Answer by flutterfae at 11:08 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • I agree with the flutterfae

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 11:10 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • wow, and dh has to yell at his mom to stop letting him ride horseback (on dh's back) before she quits (she wasnt really holding him). you have to let her know that YOU raise YOUR kids NOT her. be blunt and direct but not mean. she has to have boundaries, just like the toddler he's "throwing"

    Answer by imanixon2 at 11:29 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • My MIL is similar. She likes to butt in sometimes. But I love her, and make a joke of it. Or I get irritated and fuss. But she usually backs off, because she knows that I still love her. And she knows I am right. (that I am mommy, I have final say). Just let her know that you care for her very much, and want to have a good relationship with her. But you also love your son very much and will ALWAYS do what's best for him. So she doesn't have to worry; and she can't keep undermining  you, because you ultimately have final say.


    Answer by evilabbysmom at 11:33 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • You husband needs to have a loving talk with her. She loves you guys and your child and obviously needs to be a part of it. sit down and set up ground rules before too much resentment builds ... who knows this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

    Answer by pammomof9 at 11:37 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I would have a heart to heart with her. I would tell her that you understand that she is his Gma but she must also understand that you are his mother. I think every mom out here thinks her way is best and sometimes oppinions clash. Just tell her you will try to be more tolerant of her advice if she will show more respect for your place as him mother.

    Answer by salexander at 12:08 PM on Oct. 15, 2008