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Am I wrong or is he?

What is your opinion on this...

My SO and I were talking about having another child and we had been rolling around of "what if's". One of them was about us and how to deal with birth control and a teen daughter. My SO told me he wouldnt want our "daughter" to go on birth control before 18. He says it is telling her its okay to have sex if you do it before them. I do not agree with this. I had explained to him that I believe that since I plan on educating my children (I have a son now) about sex to a high degree and by teaching them about responsibility etc, I dont think it would be an issue. If anything it would be more responisble to start alittle early then anything else. I think with the education and having an open relationship it would be fine.

*I was a teen mother just so that is clear that I am in NO way bashing teen moms!

So am I the crazy one??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Oct. 14, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (17)
  • If she becomes sexually active, yes for the BC, if she's not then there's no need. Definitely keep the open relationship, that way your kids know your experiences but if needed they can come to you.

    I'd ask hubby if he really wants to be a grandpa when she's like 17 just because he would not allow her BC

    Answer by flutterfae at 11:10 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • SHE will be able to get it else where.PPH or whatever clinic happens to do it. I think its just dumb on his part

    Answer by ryanlynn at 11:27 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • i would want to put my daughter on it. even if she tells you shes not having sex, you dont know if thats true, she could just be very scared to talk to you. i was close with my mom, and i still told her i wasnt... but i was....

    so i think i would put her on BC just to be on the safe side.

    Answer by KelsoBabeyy at 11:27 PM on Oct. 14, 2008

  • It's funny, but I find that my ideas and opinions changed as my children grew. What seemed crazy or too independent quickly became a reality. I guess we develop along with our kids. I wouldn't worry about "what if" especially if it causes any friction in the household. Choose your arguments or debates wisely. I personally found that open communication and acceptance worked well with my kids and when the time came for BC, they were able to discuss it with me and we handled it properly with the appropriate doctor.It's true, kids will get what they want with or with out you, so it's best to know what they are up to!

    Answer by ogielove at 2:20 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Ask your hubby when is he going to allow her to date?? Is he going to go on dates w/ her?? As long as you keep the communications lines open and teach your children what bc is used for I don't see a problem w/ it.. I think hubby needs to lighten up just a tad.. My daughter is 15 and on bc.. She doesn't date. She doesn't do too much that I don't know about.. BUT the communication line is open and I talk to her about sex.. She will date will she turns 16.. I don't won't to be a grandma when she is 17.. Ya know?? Oh, and I was a mom at 16 also...

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 8:57 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I think it's better to put a girl on birth control as early as possible "just in case". If you wait around till they're 18, what if they end up getting pregnant???
    i wouldn't take the chances.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I plan on putting my girls on Birth Control as soon as I see need. If they have their period and I know they are having serious boyfriends, they will definatly be on Birth Control. Whether or not they admit to being sexually active. My children will be educated on diseases and birth control ASAP. I think it is very important to educate your children, and by putting the girls on birth control you and your daughter will have the security knowing there is no baby comming any time soon. SInce I am against abortion I believe I have to do everything I can to prevent my girls from getting pregnant.

    Answer by MommyMel03 at 9:32 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • my daughter is 9 and we are already talking the expectation is that she graduates and gets married b4 having babies but if when i find out she's sexually active it will be manditory to be on b.c.

    Answer by dawninmanch at 9:48 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • honestly i agree with your husband

    Answer by abayhaymom at 10:18 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Actually, I agree a little with both of you.
    On your side, education is worth its weight in gold. The right info is essential so informed choices are made.
    On your SO's side, automatically going on BC, in a kids mind, is like being handed the golden ticket, a free pass, a big OK go ahead and do it.
    Maybe a compromise of both would work: communicate with your kids, express your beliefs, but also be realistic, and have birth control available. If you are honest and open with your kids, then chances are they would come to you too!

    Answer by jenniferoakes at 10:31 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

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