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How do you handle forgetting whether or not someone's parents have died or other touchy issues?

Ok, I know this sounds strange, but I'm going to my high school class reunion in a couple of weeks and I can't remember who has lost parents and who hasn't, who's divorced, married, etc. There may also be some things I don't know about. I don't want to ask, "so, how are your parents doing?" if they have lost their parents, and at the same time I don't want them to think I'm ignoring their loss if it's happened fairly recently. It's a really small town, so there were only 30 people in my class. I don't live there now, but when I do go back I find that I don't recognize a lot of people that I should and I don't remember a lot of things that I should. Some of my classmates still live there or apparently keep on top of the news somehow, and when I talk to them I have no idea what they are talking about or refering to. Any advice about how I should handle this without keeping my mouth shut the whole time?

 
TweenAndTwinMom

Asked by TweenAndTwinMom at 10:14 AM on Sep. 9, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 22 (13,870 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My mom grew up in a small town where everyone knows everyone, she hasn't lived there is YEARS, but her mom and sister still do and for as long as I can remember my mom has called my grandma every Friday and gotten all the gossip and called my aunt every Sunday and gotten all the gossip. My mom still knows everything about everyone in that town, lol. So, I know what you mean about small towns, but I'm not sure, maybe just ask "how are you and your family doing these days?" and then they can fill you in on everything, yet it doesn't sound like you have "forgotten" any of their news.

    Nsbgirl

    Answer by Nsbgirl at 2:47 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Anyone in their right mind wouldn't expect you to know all the details about everyone.. I think it is polite to ask about their lives..so they know you are interested & if their parents have passed, just say "Im sorry..I didn't know".. At least you can show you care and make conversation. & remember.. not everyone will know details about you either. It's suppose to be fun, so loosen up and have a great time!
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:16 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Honestly, I thing that is what High School Reunions are for, to catch up on that sort of thing! No one can possibly keep up with everyone they have ever been friends or acquaintances with.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 10:43 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • I agree! It's time to catch up, not automaticallly be in the know! Oh crap! I just realized this should be my 10 year class reunion! I need to look into that! lol
    mommystiebler

    Answer by mommystiebler at 12:40 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • LOL.. My hubby asked this lady about her husband. She had just gotten a divorce about a year prior. He asked another lady about how her son was doing, the son was in prison. He asked another lady how her mom was doing, we found out that the mother had recently died!

    LOL Now my hubby just says HELLO!!!!!! LOL
    35yoamom

    Answer by 35yoamom at 1:26 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Use phrases like... "How have things been?" or "How's your family been doing?" or "So tell me, what's been going on with you?" This is one case where "blanket" statements are good! lol.. Don't be specific in your questions. If you're really curious about something, try to talk about something in YOUR life that they could relate to... Example.. you want to know if their parents have passed.. When asked how your family is.. include the death of someone in your update.. (sounds strange, I know. But...) if they know that you've been through a rough time, they may be more willing to open up and say "Yeah, we lost so and so last year.." or what ever.
    No one expects you to know or remember everything.. just relax and have a good time! Good luck!
    Megs5384

    Answer by Megs5384 at 1:43 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I do agree with you ladies, but small towns can be kind of strange. I'm always surprised at just how much my friend knows about everyone and everything; she lives 8 hours away, and by talking to her it sounds like she's never left!
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Comment by TweenAndTwinMom (original poster) at 10:46 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

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