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Is this Common?? What should I be doing to help?

My Daycare Provider thought we should give Potty training a shot, We've tried many times with our son with NO luck -he can't wear pulls ups as he is allergic so it needs to be underpants training, well day # 2 and he had NO accidents all day at her house and told her each time he needed to go, then we get home and he sits on the potty for me but won't pee then runs off and has an accident, she said he's testing the boundries with us and to keep trying and not to get upset - which I don't, but is this common? I mean if he can do it all day for her, why isn't he doing it for us? ( he will be 3 in Nov )

 
maxsmom11807

Asked by maxsmom11807 at 11:06 AM on Sep. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • It also may be that since you've tried training before he still remembers that and is trying to be in control, or it may be that he's feeling more stress about it at home than at daycare. It may be that trying to get him to perform when it's your idea instead of his is adding stress. As hard as you try to hide being frustrated I think they do sometimes pick up on it. Try going overboard acting like it's REALLY not a big deal to you, but empathize with his discomfort. Say, "Oh man, that must feel yucky" and then ask him to take his clothes off and carry them to the wash. Have him clean himself too as best he can too. I think my kids got tired of all the time they were having to spend cleaning up and that encouraged them to not put themselves in that position. GL! Hang in there! It will happen!
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 11:58 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Kids always behave better for others than they do with their parents, especially the mom. He is testing you. Just keep calm and know that he is also probably seeing other children go potty so it's positive reinforcement. Maybe move the potty chair to a different area, use it for watching tv?
    DD watched Dora while sitting on it.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:25 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Is she doing something special to encourage the potty training? We used cheerios and he could sink them with the "stream". The bm was a little different... he wanted company while sitting.
    tortkey

    Answer by tortkey at 11:25 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Common. Just be consistent. Take away diapers and if he won't tell you, put him on and make him try every 15 minutes and keep it up until he will tell you or go on his own. Let him know you mean business. If he can do it all day there, he can do it at home.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:26 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Find out her schedule and continue on with it. and he is testing you and wants some of his own way or control. Get some going potty books from the library and whatever movies they have and watch them or read them together just you and him so you two can connect with it a little more. Stay consistent..it will happen.
    Momforhealth

    Answer by Momforhealth at 11:30 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • See, I thought he wasn't "ready" because I have tried and tried and it was accident after accident and he never once told me he had to go, I ended up having to bring him there so often which actually made it harder because then we were stopping him from playing and it would make him upset -and this went on for quite a while which is why I thought he wasn't mentally there yet or it wasn't sinking in, turns out.. yeah, i was wrong .. he CAN tell and will tell her but not me for some reason.. No, I mean, we are doing the same thing - I guess the only difference she mentioned is that at her house, he thought that he didn't have any extra pairs at her house if he did pee himself so I tried that last night as we stopped at my mom's - I said honey, we don't have extra underpants so please tell mommy when you have to pee or we will have to go home -well, it was like it didn't phase him one bit- still peed after I brought him potty
    maxsmom11807

    Comment by maxsmom11807 (original poster) at 11:33 AM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • You may see a difference over the weekend when you have all day with him. The twins both went all-day dry at daycare and came home to have accidents for a couple of weeks. Other than right before leaving the house or right after coming home I didn't ask them to go to the potty - I let it be their idea. When they had accidents I had them carry their dirty undies to the washing machine and made clean up an inconvenience to them.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 11:53 AM on Sep. 9, 2010