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I love my mother dearly but...

we havent really gotten along all so well since I got pregnant. I mean she has been supportive...but just makes little comments she shouldnt. Well now she has kinda voted her self to be my coach and go threw all of my birthing classes with me. And I kinda really dont want her to be...cause we both have different views on how MY LABOR should go. Plus I dont think she will listen to me when I tell her not to do something. So my question is...how do you tell your mother that you dont want have her to be your coach!?!?

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Amanduh87

Asked by Amanduh87 at 12:53 AM on Oct. 15, 2008 in Pregnancy

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • FIRST IT DEPENDS IF THE FATHER IS PRESENT AND HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM. SECONDLY, THE FACT THAT SHE IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES IS PROBALLY HORMONES OR MAYBE EVEN SOMETHING DEEPER, BUT REMEMBER IF YOU ASK HER TO STEP BACK AND THAT YOU DO INFACT NOT WANT HER IN THE ROOM -IT IS A DECISION YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE NOR A MEMORY SHE CAN NEVER RELIVE. JUST THINK ABOUT IT CAREFULLY AND YOU WILL MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION ...GOOD LUCK
    NURSE_MOM_OF_2

    Answer by NURSE_MOM_OF_2 at 1:09 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • "your fired"
    If you dont have an SO then perhaps you could try talking to her more about your concerns. It is nice to not have to do everything on your own. However, i never had a coach, or classes, and I did fine with my two kids labor and delievery. So... perhaps invite her to the birth, but tell her you want to be in control, and your own support.
    Good Luck. remember that your mom is probably trying to do what she thinks is best for you. So it is coming from a good place.
    Beasic

    Answer by Beasic at 1:22 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • if you Seriously want her to back off then straight tell her back off..but remember, when baby is born and you want her help the first couple of weeks, she might not be there for you.. i would try sitting her down and lay the rules out on the table on how its going to be or she can just back out. its your way or no way..now she has the right to give you advice, but not to tell you How to do it. but know, if you do tell her to back off completely..its probably going to crush her. just prepare yourself..
    tnteaton

    Answer by tnteaton at 1:28 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • If the father isn't around, I'd say your mother is the best person to have there with you, I remember when I had my first child, all I wanted was my mom there. She couldn't be there because she was in the hospital at the time. My dh was there and my dad, but I wanted my mom. Your mom knows you better than anyone, and cares about you more than you realize. She would only want what she feels is best for you.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 2:25 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • no way in hell would my mom even be in the room with me. . .
    norasmama

    Answer by norasmama at 2:28 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I'm VERY PASSIVE. I would first make out as if i dont have time for her. If you can avoid her as much as possible until she asks you why, THEN it would be eaier to answer a question instead of it comming out of the blue. This way you dont blind sight her completley.
    jurobelle

    Answer by jurobelle at 5:55 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I can't imagine not having my mom there, but she is far from overbearing. If I were in your position I would tell her that you want it the way you want it, and it's your experience to go through. I know it's hard to piss off or possibly hurt the people that you do care about, but in the end, taking care of it head on is how you need to go about it; otherwise it will blow up later into something so much bigger. You can do it, and in the end you will be happy as you will go through this experience the way you wanted to :)
    leoangel

    Answer by leoangel at 8:17 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

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