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3 Bumps

could my son's issues be from what he sees at home?

this is the 3rd week of school and my son has only had 2 or 3 good days one of them being the first day. the teacher says he doesnt listen , do what he needs to, and on the bus he wont share his seat and it seems like he is mean to the girls on the bus. and over the past 1 1/2 years or so he has seen his father disrespect me and what not. and whats so bad about it all my son is only 5!

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mamasmurf171

Asked by mamasmurf171 at 2:18 PM on Sep. 9, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 13 (973 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • yes,it could be
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:19 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • kids do pickup on that fast! if dad is disrespectful toward oyu he will thinkits ok to treat women like that. is his teacher female? my guess is yes that is why. i would talk to your husband.
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 2:20 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • It could be. But, could it be that you just want to blame your husband. Discuss it and work on it with your dear son.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 2:22 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Children learn from what they see. His father needs to dig way deep down inside of himself and find some respect for you or you alls child is gonna be a mean boy. Don't allow your hubby to treat you like crap. Work with your child and explain to him that sometimes people aren't always nice to one another, and tell him that is not RIGHT. You also need to have a long talk to his father about this. Monkey see monkey do.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 2:23 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Yes, that's likely part of the problem.
    But there's more to it than that. He's not listening, not doing his work, not sharing. He needs to be taught that these behaviors are not an option.
    missingruth

    Answer by missingruth at 2:25 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • If your husband is disrespectful towards you, then yes, your son is getting some of these behaviors from what he is being taught at home.
    But I doubt that talking to your husband would be much of a solution - after all, he already treats you with disrespect, how much do you believe he values what you have to say? If he valued you, your thoughts, and your opinions, he wouldn't be disrespecting you.
    I also agree with missingruth, there's more to it than just "what he sees". It's also "what he is allowed". He behaves this way because he can. You need to stop these behaviors each and every time they occur - or they will never end and will likely become much worse.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 2:31 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • your 5 yr old being disrespectful towards girls is from your husband disrespecting you in front of him. like raemommy said monkey see monkey do. my two yr old sees how my 4 yr old doesnt listent to me (because his mother doesnt make him listen to her) and my two year old thinks its ok for her to do it. so kids as early as two pick up on this kind of stuff. you should probably sit down with your husband (and if he cares for his son and how he treats people) and work on his disrespect issues and then all three of you should probably sit down together and talk to each other and you and your husband need to explain to your son that his behavior is not ok and you guys are going to work on it together as a family. Lead by example, not do as i say not as i do.
    bradymoma86

    Answer by bradymoma86 at 2:34 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • yes, studies have shown that even babies who are subjected to a negative home setting are effected by what they witness and hear. At 5 your son is picking everything up going on in that house between you and dh. Have you thought about counseling for you and dh? If he doesnt want to go then you go by yourself
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 2:46 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • thanx every1 for the advice and i have more then once sat down w/ my son and told him that the way daddy treats mommy isnt nce and/or right, and for talking it out w/ my "husband" all he ever says to me about it is that i need to fix my attitude and make our son behave he doesnt see it as a problem coming from him cuz netime he is disrespctful to me he tells me that its my fault that if i were to act different he wouldnt be an ass.
    mamasmurf171

    Comment by mamasmurf171 (original poster) at 2:47 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • He sounds like a very insecure child to me, and that could very well be caused by the turmoil in the home. That can't all be blamed on his dad. Also, it sounds like he is suffering from lack of clearly defined boundaries and proper discipline for over-stepping those.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:48 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

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