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what to do about 4 yr old...Help please out of ideas going nuts.

so i asked a question earlier about how to get my 4 yr old stepson to listen when he is at our house and i got some good feedback and one detail brought to my attention. I am the only one who does the disipline. Since he is just my stepson should i just step out of the picture and let my husband deal with him the way he wants (which is to let him get away with murder) because i have told my husband that he does let his son get away with everything and he never does any kind of disipline. Im tired of his son rubbing off on our 2 yr old though so i dont know if i should stop and just let my hubby deal with it that way he can see (hopefully) how unruly his son is or what I have no clue what to do.

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bradymoma86

Asked by bradymoma86 at 6:34 PM on Sep. 9, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 8 (271 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • That is a tough one. Sense you have a child too. I will say. Get your DH more involved. but still make him mind when he is around your child. If you don't your child will grow up thinking you are playing favorites. To the step son.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:45 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Yes, get your husband involved but you should not step out of the picture. Make sure both kids are getting enough one on one time with you and DH plus positive reinforcement when they do things right. Lots of times they go for the negative attention when they do not get enough positive. Plus tons of hugs and kisses. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:17 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • you need to talk to your DH, sounds like he wants to be the good guy & that isn't fair.
    Ashlynnsmommy07

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 7:40 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • That depends on what is going on. If the only issue is his manners, then I wouldn't go around trying to enforce them- except when he is dealing with you. It is perfectly alright for you to demand common courtesys when he is talking to YOU. If they are 'house rules' that he isn't following (like throwing the ball in the house or something), then it would be alright for you to step in there as well since it is your house. Think of it like your niece or nephew- would you have a problem if they were over visiting and were breaking that rule? What would you do then?

    It would probably be important to get his Father on board and in charge of discipline but don't feel like you aren't allowed to speak up about a child left in your care. It's your house, he is part of your family and should be treated that way.
    ethans_momma06

    Answer by ethans_momma06 at 8:19 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Get your DH and the bio mother involved in this, you could should be a team in this, even step parents need to team up with the parents after all your a parent figure for this young child.
    whoreallycares

    Answer by whoreallycares at 4:33 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • can you talk to his mom?
    tonyalynn

    Answer by tonyalynn at 10:41 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • so what do you do when the bio mother wont listen to anyone about his behavior? doesnt seem like i can do a whole lot but grind teeth.
    bradymoma86

    Comment by bradymoma86 (original poster) at 11:22 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Sometimes all you have to do is bite your toungue, lol. Talk to your DH about it
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 12:47 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • You both need to sit down and come up with rules and expectations you can BOTH agree on. Your husband needs to realize that letting a child get away with whatever they want will become a HUGE problem.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 3:06 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I have to second KTMOM. It's not okay for your hubby to let his son's bad behavior rub off on your child. You two need to sit down, agree to rules and boundaries, and work TOGETHER to make sure his son knows what's proper behavior and what isn't.

    Good luck!
    mainemusicmaker

    Answer by mainemusicmaker at 6:47 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

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