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DH and I never had a wedding ceremony (Justice of the Peace). We are renewing our vows...

and we invited our friends and families to join us, this time last year, on an upcoming cruise for our formal ceremony. No one is planning to come (even with a year's notice). We understand that times are tough. My question is, that since we weren't able to have a wedding initially, shouldn't our families' treat this ceremony as if it was our real wedding? Send a card or offer a gift? Just curious, and disappointed that our celebration is being ignored. FYI, we told our friends and families when we first got married that our intentions were to get married for our baby, then have a formal celebration down the road when we could afford it, so they knew.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Sep. 9, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think it's great that you are doing this. I also got married at the justice of the peace, and it wasn't a good night at all...long story. Anyways, I wouldn't be expecting anything, but I would definitely be dissapointed that no one sent a card...after all this is pretty much like a coming out. That's why people have weddings in the first place. I hope you get some feedback from your family or friends, and that you have a beautiful ceremony and cruise. =)
    P.S. also with you guys doing it now, at least people know that you're commited and not just going to break up in a year or two.

    Answer by berrysweetmamma at 8:45 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Can you have the vows done at home and use the cruise as a honeymoon so that it does not cost a lot for your friends and family to go? Sorry you are not getting the reaction from thm you had hoped for.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 7:58 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • That's sweet that you are renewing your vows, but you're right, times are very tough w/ this economy & not everyone can afford a cruise. Why not have a little reception when you get back or renew your vows locally when more people are more likey to show up. As for gifts, that is up to their descretion based on what they can afford. The main thing is that you and your husb are still in love & want to take this step together to renew your love for each other. It's beautiful! Congrats!

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:01 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • If they've already sent you both a card and gift, then they don't need to send anything more.

    I'm not saying this to be a bitch, but if you were hoping for a big celebration with family attendance and gifts, you should have had a reception soon after you got married.

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 7:59 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • If you already have a house and all that goes in a house, I wouldn't expect gifts. I would also not ask someone to pay for a cruise to celebrate with me. I understand you want to celebrate, but I think a party locally held would be more approriate. Then you and hubby could go on homeymoon cruise by yourself.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 7:59 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • They have no obligation to come to the party. No, it is not obligatory to send a gift or even a card. A renewing of the vows is a volunteer appearence, with no wedding customs attached by the attending guests.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:59 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • I'm sorry that people aren't planning on coming! I agree with the first poster. maybe do your formal ceremony close to home and use the cruise for the two of you. Destination weddings are very very tough to get any guests to actually come to. They can be very costly, and people are probably thinking that they would have to put out money not only to go to the ceremony but then also for the gift and that can add up very quickly. I don't really have an answer as to why nobody is offering a gift. But my best advice, as a professional wedding planner myself, is to try and have the ceremony close to home if it is important to have family there with you =)

    Answer by Amanduhpanda at 8:01 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Thanks for the kind words ladies! I was teh OP, and I don't have Anon status to reply, so I'm blowing my cover :~D I just didn't know what kind of response I would get, and I was a bit embarrased to have any kind of expectations from my family and friends. Anywho, we live in TX and our people live in the Northeast, so we are unable to travel there for a separate celebration. It was financially beneficial to combine our ceremony with our 'honeymoon' and invite others to join us. like I said though, we understand that it is a huge commitment, but I guess I'm just disappointed that we weren't recognized like we were getting married.

    Answer by kenzie07 at 8:07 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Can you have the vows done at home and use the cruise as a honeymoon so that it does not cost a lot for your friends and family to go? Sorry you are not getting the reaction from thm you had hoped for.

    Wonderful idea!

    Answer by 35yoamom at 8:21 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Sounds like the 50 th birthday party I just had and we renewed our vows then too as we were married 10yrs this yr then we gave family a yrs notice and not one of his brothers or sisters showed up for the 1st or 2nd one we had gotten married the 1st time by the Justice of the Peace and I had a minister actually marry us this time. They didn't even send cards for our 50th let alone our 50th birthdays.
    I wish you well in everything and hope it all works out.
    Maybe do the cruise for the honeymoon we did that it was a blast maybe it'stoo much money for them to handle do a simple church or whatever ceremony with family and close friends then take off on the honeymoon

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 8:58 PM on Sep. 9, 2010