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I have a husband suffering from depression, he is also a recovering drug addict I am stressed out to the max! advice?

I love my husband and we have a beautiful son together, but his depression and moods have really been taking their toll on me. I feel broken and I need to keep my spirits up for my son. I knew what I was getting into when my husband and I got married, but every year at this time he gets terribly moody and MEAN! He has stopped participating in therapy, (required for his addiction) he still is required to show up once a month, but he won't talk to his therapist about anything. His mood and general laziness I think is affecting his whole like, especially getting a better job. He has a biochemistry degree, but works in a factory. I don't want my son to grow up thinking this type of behavior is acceptable.

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Asked by kate48 at 11:33 AM on Oct. 15, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • I threw the question out to my husband who went through long bouts of depression in his 20's and 30's (during his first marriage, a little now but seems to have better handle on it). He says, for you, make sure you help him feel like a man, depression is very emasculating, keep encouraging him and loving him, encourage him going to therapy, he may not participate but he needs it. For your husband,He needs to start learning all there is to know about it, start taking some of the depressions power away with knowledge and hope. Right now it probably feels like it will never end for your dh so that just feeds into the depression, a never ending cycle. the more knowledge my dh gained the more control he has over it.


    I hope that helped a little


    Answer by pammomof9 at 11:54 AM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Thanks for the encouragement...I needed to hear it!

    Answer by kate48 at 12:04 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • He's mean because he's tormented by this. I doubt if he intends to be that way. Depression can wound a person to the very soul so you are dealing with a wounded animal who is probably trying to emotionally hang on to whatever he can to keep from spiraling further into the depths of hell. Gee, can you gell I suffer from depression too? What saves me is that I know it's cyclical. I hang on to whatever I can until the storm blows over then I slowly climb back out of the pit I was in. It's not easy. He's a lucky man to have you there to reach out with a hand to steady him and help pull him up. Remember that you must only pull when he's ready for you to pull. Just be there. I wish I had someone like you to help when I fall into that pit. It really sucks and sometimes I worry I won't come out. I'm fine now but those days are coming again, I'm certain.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:33 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Does your husband attend AA or NA? How long has he been sober/clean? We use addiction to avoid, suppress the ups and downs of life. When we are no longer using, we need to relearn how to feel, how to live life on life's terms. In AA/NA meetings he will meet people just like him. If he s not talking to the therapist, this might be another option. I know it works, i've been sober 10 years. email me if i can help.

    Answer by chuggerboysmom at 4:20 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

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