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My Marine son is out of control!

Everything was going fine. I was helping him and his fiance' with pricing of halls etc...I get a call 3 days ago that he doesn't want me making any appointments without her but, i don't I asked her if she was coming and she never answered. Because I went I was able to get a military discount if that's where they want it. Problem is he wants the ceremony and reception at the American legion and she wants it at this pricey hall he can't afford and he's not being up front with her so, now neither of them are talking to me!!!!!! Like what did I do? He's the one not being honest with her....he's 20 and she's 19. And they want to get pregnant right away!OMG help!!!!!!!! They met online, spent a week together and been talking on the phone since July....this is nuts!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Oct. 15, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (19)
  • I know he's your son, but what you need to do is step back. Let your son and this girl deal with thier own problems. Let your son know you will be there for him if he needs you; but you shouldn't be helping them if you don't condone this marriage. Even though he is 20 and she's 19 they are still babies and after only a few weeks of knowing each other they need to slow down not get married. God luck to you. Let us know what happens in the end.


    Answer by BooBear666 at 12:06 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • No good deed goes unpunished...just butt out.

    Answer by salexander at 1:42 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • i think you may need to back off. it may be causing problems between them that you don't know about.

    Answer by charisma10 at 1:52 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • the bride's family pays for the wedding. If you have the money I'd have her checked out. This is moving way too fast. A lot of online relationships move quickly and are regretted later. Is she just using him to get out of a sticky situation at home? To not have to work (be taken care of)? Have you spoken with her parents? Maybe she's a nutcase. I'd be finding out more. My son got mixed up with a crazy woman and he can't get rid of her for anything. He divorced her and still she torments him. He can't have a life. She won't let him have friends and goodness knows she'd run off a good woman if one came along. Some of these young women are just nuts wanting to find a good guy and use them. Good luck on this.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:12 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • You need to step back a bit. If they aren't talking to you right now then that won't be a problem. If they need your help, they'll ask for it. You have to let him make his own mistakes and hope that in the long run he'll learn from them. Just be there for him if this turns out to be one.
    Best of Luck!

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 3:18 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • He's an adult, butt out and let him learn for himself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • From experience--if you don't agree with this union--don't help with it!!!!! There seems to be a lot of girls that try to snag a soldier--why? I don't know. I would tell him you are butting out:-) and let them deal with it together. DO NOT MAKE IT ANY EASIER ON THEM----and I would probably call her parents to learn a little bit about her. Chances are they may just be like her........ But it sounds like she is just looking for a meal ticket. Ask your son why he thinks he has to move so fast. Encourage him to wait for a child until he knows more about her. Chances are huge that she is a nut. But I wouldn't do anything to help and tell him so---with love--that if he wants to marry someone he barely knows--he is on his own---you'll see him at the ceremony.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • hold the phones they have only been talking since july and want to have kids already.. she is a red flag hun.. my DH is a Navy Corpsman and we have been together for 5 years.. and he was in when we got married... well when he got home from active duty there was problems believe u me... he wasnt the man i married and we had a new baby he never really got to meet...

    i can foresee right now this is going to end badly for them... she will be mad cause he wont spend time with her or the baby and if he goes overseas the other marines are going to say oh shes cheating on u yada yada...

    then a big custody battle.. childsupport...ect
    try to talk them into having a smaller wedding.. it might help...
    I'll gladly talk to that girl and tell her that things are different when u marry a military man!!

    Answer by navywifemomkoch at 6:21 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Butt out, unless you're paying for it don't worry about it. And, BTW, I met my husband online and got pregnant 6 weeks after meeting him...we now have 2 kids, have been together over 3 years and are very happily married.

    Just leave them alone, you sound like my MIL and I hate the bitch.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • She sounds like a "paycheck chaser" to me. They are women who target and prey on military men just for the paycheck. They have children with them knowing that their checks will be garnished every month regardless and sent to them if they were to divorce or split up. He should run like hell!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

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