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son hates us!!

Ok I have a teenage son, I posted a few weeks ago when him and a friend of his walked in on my husband and I, he was very upset and refused to speak about to us. I let some time pass and figured his anger would fade and I thought it did and then he started school, and word got out that they walked in on us and I guess some of the kids are giving him a hard time about it. I feel absolutly horrible about this and my son refuses to talk to me about this and all he says is how awful we are and that everyone at school brings it up to him. How can I fix this

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eyesoirish

Asked by eyesoirish at 8:58 PM on Sep. 9, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • How the heck did that come out at school unless he was sharing about it to his buddies? If he is being teased he did it to himself. Not cool son! You did nothing wrong, stuff happens. Tell him to knock it off and grow up a lttle and stop talking about it at school...oh, and get a lock for your door. If you apologized already, then its over and he needs to man up and knock it off,,,,
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 9:04 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Was it the buddy who has the big mouth? I would sit him down and tell him enough is enough. He isn't the first kid to walk in on his parents and he won't be the last. It isn't the end of the world. If he ignores the teasers they will stop when they don't get a rise out of him. In 2 weeks it will be somebody else about something else. You've apologized, let it go.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:10 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • He is hurting and does not know how to handle this. He needs straight talk. Not to be told to suck it up. This is a perfect time to do some good sex education. Discuss what was going on and why it is alright to have loving relations when you are married. Please use this time to share in what he is feeling and do not push him away when he desperately needs your love and care.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:25 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Thanks for the laugh. My advice is to not give it more power than necessary. There is nothing you can do right now. Keep humor on your side. Just put up a Please Knock Before Entering sign on your door and say nothing. Right now your son got a visual that he probably didn't want to see, let him get over the shock and keep loving him. . lol sorry but it's funny Time will pass and you will all look back on it and laugh... Hugs !! :-)
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 9:36 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • WOW- i remember reading about what happened a couple of weeks ago- i can't believe this is still going on! i'm sitting here trying to think what i can say to help you but- i am really lost for words! I really feel for both of you; i know this has to a very uncomfortable situation- There is not alot more you can do; you told him Over & Over you are Sorry that he walked in at the wrong time- i'm not sure what else he wants you to do- Maybe, write him a letter saying that the last thing you ever would of wanted to do is embarass him like that whether he was with a friend or not & you are more than willing to listen to anything he has to say to work through this but,things have got to be resolved b/c it has got way out of hand- or your husband needs to have a one on one with him saying these things- i am sure he is taking it harder than the kids at school mean, they just have something to give him a hard time about- Best of Luck!
    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 11:08 PM on Sep. 9, 2010

  • Let it go.... How did it come up in school? Just let him cool down about it..
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 8:53 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I just posted about my son this week and catching him with a can of chew, and how angry he was with me giving me the silent treatment, because of his punishment. Yesterday I text him and told him I know he is mad at me and I understand that, however I'm still your mom and I will love you no matter how much you hate me right now. He text back and told me he wasn't mad just didn't understand how I couldn't trust him anymore. We text back and forth a little bit and when I got home we were back on speaking terms and this morning he even said he loved me. We also have an issue at school where the boys tend to talk about me a lot because of the way I look. Mind you I don't dress provocative around any kids, but they are boys it doesn't matter. I just keep humor with this and it works, my boys hate and have learned to just defend themselves around the kids by cracking jokes....cont..
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:51 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Based on the things I've gone through lately, I suggest a text message to break through. Apologize, let him know understand his anger and embarassment and it wasn't your intent and that regardless you love him. Then as someone else suggested continue to keep humor on your side, he can learn to stand up to those kids, telling them to get over it or simply ignoring them. It should eventually blow over in time, I would think something new will happen to someone else and then the focus will shift. Just let him know you're sorry and if you can come up with ideas on how to handle the situation at school that might helpful to him.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:54 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • You don't say what age your son is, but teens are just really up and down hormonal beings who can't process their feeling very well. It is imperative that you talk to him. He doesn't have to say anything if he doesn't want to, but he needs to listen to you explain that what he saw was normal and that kids are annoying and will find any way to get under his (or anyone's) skin. The talk is bound to die down, but your son needs to be able to wrap his head around what he saw, that is what you need to focus on.
    cleanaturalady

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 11:42 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I agree that you all need to sit down and talk. Communication is the best thing, even when it seems they don't want to talk.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 6:02 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

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