Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Husband unromantic...any ideas?

My husband and I have been married two years since Oct 12 of this year and everytime I tell him so what are you planning for us? He always tells me Idk. When we first got together, I had to tell my friends to talk to him. He actually went and set up candles, strawberries and whipped cream, a dozen roses with rose petals and candles trailing from the hallway to our bed. That was for my birthday but when mothers day came around and I was pregnant with our son, my friend talked to him again and he went and bought me a green pendant necklace. The only other time he has done anything was with me hinting to him on V-day and he got me flowers and chocolates. He ended up eating all the chocolates and that was when I gave his professor a musical frog that he was supposed to give to him in front of the whole class.

Answer Question
 
mrsmilander

Asked by mrsmilander at 12:16 PM on Oct. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • For our first anniversary, we went and saw Michael Clayton which was so dumb and we went to a restaurant we normally go to. This year, we stayed home and went and rented movies just like anyother day and made dinner at his parents. What the hell?
    mrsmilander

    Answer by mrsmilander at 12:16 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I guess the best thing to do for a man like that is to plant seeds months in advance about what you'd like. That way by the time the event comes along he thinks it's his idea! Sometimes getting these men trained isn't always easy. Good men but dumb as stumps when it comes to romance!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:28 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • INSTEAD OF HAVING YOUR FRIENDS TALK TO HIM YOU NEED TO HAVE A HEART TO HEART WITH HIM AND TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT. SOME GUYS THINK THEY ARE BEING ROMANTIC WHEN IN REALITY THEIR IDEA OF ROMANCE IS NOTHING BUT ANYTHING LEADING UP TO SEX. I SAY JUST BE HONEST. ITS ONLY YOUR SECOND YEAR OF MARRIAGE. YOU WILL GET BORED AFTER A WHILE IF ITS ALREADY A PROBLEM.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • It sounds like he was never really romantic to begin with. If he needed prompting from your friends and romance was important to you, there was your sign. I'm not trying to be cheeky but you have to be honest with yourself.
    Teach him how to be romantic. I know when you want someone to treat you well and they aren't it is hard to do. But, start doing some romantic things for him. When he's enjoying himself let on that you would love to be suprised by him sometimes. He just needs some training.
    He can't read your mind. You may have to take the lead in the romance department.
    RenDanielle

    Answer by RenDanielle at 12:29 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Honestly, I have hinted to him more than once and we have talked about it but he just doesnt get it. I have told him just flowers every once in a while would be nice or notes left for me or planning that we go out one night with him having it all planned instead of me doing it all. I have done romantic things for him. I just surprised him with his fave team sweatshirt in the mail because he has been wanting one forever. I make him dinner (things Ive never made before)
    mrsmilander

    Answer by mrsmilander at 12:33 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • He is NEVER going to change. My husband is not a romantic, however he goes along with anything I plan. I planned a scavenger hunt for him on our anniv--he totally went along with it. than I planned a weekend away and told him that friday he was driving us up north--he had a great time. I even planned a trip to Vegas for a few days, he LOVED it. Until you realize he isn't going to change you are going to be unhappy about it. Bill just doesn't think about those kinds of things, he tells me that and now i know~ If i wanna do~ he'll go along with it. We married the man we married--It took me a while to realize that and when I did--the more Romantic I got--the better our relationship became....
    LiFeOVeRForTY

    Answer by LiFeOVeRForTY at 1:00 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • When I had a similar problem like this, Instead of hinting and whining about what my husband never does for me, I took the initiative, I wrote cards, sent him love notes, planted goodies in his car for the long commute home, things like that. I started to run his bath water, make him special dinners, even massage his feet after a hard work day. What happened was I started to get things like this in return! THere are times when he takes the kids for an hour or two so I can relax or have a bubble bath. He gives me an occasional backrub, he has even attempted to cook for me.   The absolute best thing that I look forward to that my husband does for me is bring me the BIGGEST bag of CHEETOS and about 3 "girly" magazines!  But he just didn't do these things on his own- I guess you have to set the example and eventually he will get the message.  Good luck!!
    calatres

    Answer by calatres at 1:10 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Mine isn't romantic either. You may have to change your idea of romantic.

    Does he take care of you when you're sick? Is he good with the kids? Does he fix things around the house?

    While it's not traditionally romantic, all those things are romantic in their own way.
    thisnametaken

    Answer by thisnametaken at 2:52 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.